Who are you to Criticize anyway?

    "Dedicated to anyone who wonders if I'm writing about them...I am."

     Hello reader. Oh, was my introduction a little "formal" for you? A little "cold shoulder"? Good. My topic is a little cold tonight and perhaps it'll make you uncomfortable. .and maybe cry..fantastic. Grab a tissue and put your damn purse down, it's time to end this tea party.

    Judgments..criticism; is my topic today. Why the HELL are we all so judgmental of each other. .hell, why are we so judgmental of judgments? This whole crazy thought train came about when I first started to dye me hair "crazy" colors. The train then derailed after I just recently dyed it (for the last time) back to a dark-half-human color. Seeing comments like "so much better than that bright red.." or "that green hair HAD to go..". Comments such as those truly make me want to say.."Thanks for the feedback I could really care less about, and you may go fuck yourself on the way out, good sir.." Sounds harsh, but honestly, if you've known me for a good portion of my life, you'd know I don't do anything to PLEASE anyone..and I'll dye my hair, wear fake eyelashes, pierce my face in any way I choose.

    This also goes WAY BACK. I'VE gotten criticism my whole life for how I CHOOSE to look. "Oh you're so beautiful but that hair needs to go..".."why would pierce that beautiful face".."you're so beautiful BUT you should loose weight".etc. what's with all the "You're so beautiful BUT..". I'm quite sure I'm not alone in this, but when you start a compliment with you're beautiful BUT, IT IMMEDIATELY looses all sincerity.

    With that all being said, I'm no angel. My past is filled with jealous judgments and criticism. But, if you were to know me NOW, you'd know I DO NOT judge anyone, EVER. Scouts honor. These days, you're judged if your fat, skinny, bald, too much hair, clothes..and the list goes on. It's fine to be ANY of those things. If you want to be the nicest person earth, you go girl. You want to be hate-filled..you get your hate on (good luck with your life without a soul. .Ok I judged haha). You want to be big. .great! You want to be skeletor..fine! You enjoy being someplace in the middle..fucking celebrate!!!
   
    At the end of the damn day..who really gives a hoot?!! I know I don't. We should probably all stop hating on each other(unless your into that.like I said). Life is so GOD DAMN short, do/wear/feel whatever the fuck you want to do..let ya freak flag fly. And in case you need a break from our criticizing society. .let's grab a drink so I can tell you exactly this: who gives a shot about anyone thinks? When you're on your death bed your sure as hell not going to be thinking "god I wish I cared more about what people thought", NO, your going to thank your god that you did whatever was best for YOU. Take care, freaks.

Love, Laura xoxo

Ps: Deal with all the swearing..but this is a passionate subject..sorry, I'm not sorry!

I kept it light, so why am in the dark?

Good evening!

Why is it that I always get my zest for blogging, late at night? Well..I guess its only 9:30pm...not THAT Late! ANYWAYS, that's neither here nor there...my topic! I was inspired to write about a few friends "dating" experiences..trials, tribulations...losers...douchebags, etc. So my question is, (you can thank Carrie Bradshaw for this..) "When we try to keep it light, why do we always end up in the Dark?"

Basically this means, in terms of dating, you try to keep things casual/see where it'll go and not read into anything...you somehow always land in murky water.  By this I mean, after all the skinned knees and broken hearts, you go into the next one with that typical attitude "I'm not taking anything too seriously" or "lets just see what happens". BUT at the end of the day your 30 years young, after all, and are looking for real love!

Dating is so awkward..I feel that Vince Vaughn said it best via 'Wedding Crashers':

I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair.

 I really cannot sum it up any better than that (I seriously LOL'd as I was reading that..).  The point is, date after date..the more serious it gets or the more you see that person, the more questions you have. Is there a future? Do they see a future? Am I crazy pants for even thinking that, this early in the game? I am getting on in my years, so maybe I should broach the subject?? Ah the newness of a relationship is bitter sweet. You meet someone new, and its fun, harmless puppy-love. You both get to start with a fresh new slate. The bitter taste comes with all the questions.

In some cases your questions are quickly answered when said dater, turns into a complete crazy or a douchbag. In the experience of some friends, there is NO time to waste so they STRAIGHT up ask if this person is interested in doing the "Boyfriend/Girlfriend" thing, which I'll admit is risky (even as I am egging them on to do it...YOLO) but it also clears the air of any questions or confusion OR misread signs your being given...or imagining. An inconvenient truth is what that is. Sure you have a little bit of awkwardness after, but I say "shoot em all and let god sort em' out". Although that doesn't really pertain to this situation, but what I mean is...might as well find out now, rather than torturing yourself with the "is he interested", "is she going to let me sleep with her tonight?", etc.

I guess the reason why we always wind up in the dark, is because there is always one party who wants more than the other..in some cases. So you say to yourself, OK, this time I'm just going to see where it is and not fall in love after the first date. But old habits die hard I suppose and there you are !BOOM!, lights out! Now you can't see and you have bumped your shin on the the coffee table..perfect.  To wrap it up reader, Do what you gotta do..dating sucks...that why people get married; to end that horrifying awkward line-dancing tradition.

Love, Laura xoxox

Warning: This one is sensitive little bitch!

Oh..hello! My title really has nothing to do with reading this blog entry, but more with the topic of it. Question: If we were all forced to wear warning labels, what would YOURS say? Obviously it is something unfortunately negative in your personality or perhaps a glitch..shall we say. I came across the above picture on my daily 'Pinterest' procrastinating and saw that..and it REALLY made me think. It also made me think about how much time it would save us all. I mean, if you were talking to someone and saw their label said "obsessive" or "Phone-call-stalker"..pretty sure you would immediately look the other way. BUT since we don't, we are forced to ACTUALLY get to know people, and their crazy-pants dark underground garage, which they utilize to store bodies of ex boyfriends who wouldn't return their call(s) after the first date.

ANYWAYS, that's neither here nor there and I certainly hope you never have to face anyone like that!  Back onto the topic at hand; what would YOUR label say? Mine, would most likely say Overly-Sensitive. Now, I know what you're thinking...really? but yes, unfortunately...I am. I hide it behind a thick layer of pride and egotistical arrogance.  It really is more of a curse than a blessing, although, with being this sensitive, I am able to be more compassionate towards others and really try to put myself in their shoes.  I know I put up quite an arrogant front and might seem that I don't care when I give you brutally honest advice, but I ALWAYS try to put myself in other peoples shoes before I pass judgment or an opinion.  Anyways, my sensitivity. Anything mean, or even jokingly sarcastic anyone says to me, (even if its about something ridiculous I've posted on facebook) is ALWAYS taken too seriously. And yet, no one would know this. I manage to over-think everything ALL the time, and maybe that is my Leo glitches surfacing...we'll just cram those down with some loud, arrogant boasting about how got damn amazing I am (seriously, I'm kidding..).

In any case, this over-sensitivity consumes me sometimes. So much that I start getting on my own damn nerves. I'll find myself saying' Jesus, Laura..toughen up!" or "put your damn purse down and end this tea party.." which is code for, stop taking EVERYTHING so seriously..and stop over thinking it all! I Suppose things could be worse; my label COULD be something like:

• Warning: She WILL go through your shit when your in the bathroom..
• Warning: She has a severe drinking disorder
• Warning: She will call your new girlfriend during the night, in hopes to get back together with you..
• Warning: She WILL cut your hair off, in hopes to always have something to remember you by..
• Warning: She MAY form an obsessive attachment with your man-parts..
• Warning: She WILL force you to watch only girly movies
• Warning: She is a plain o'l Bitch..
• Warning: She IS a stalker

and so forth....

So, when you read those, mine or even yours doesn't seem SO bad. That's all I have time for tonight...but do tell...What would YOUR warning label say?

Love, Laura xoxox

Random Thursday: Question/answer period!

Hello!! To switch up my usual rant/rave garbage, I decided to seek out the most RANDOM group of questions, and answer them..100% honestly! Seriously..there is no rhyme or reason for these questions, they are all over the map...enjoy!

Questions: What are your biggest 'pet peeves"?
Answer: Lateness and mispronunciation

Question: What is your biggest fear?
Answer: Death/Dying

Question: What was your first thought when you met your spouse?
Answer: FINALLY!!! (its a long story..haha)

Question: If money and/or jobs were no issue, where would you live?
Answer: New York or Paris

Question: What were you doing this day, 10 years ago?
Answer: I was just moving into the city, getting ready to go to Beauty School.

Question: Have you ever read a book that change your view point on something?
Answer: Yes, "He's Just NOT That Into You". Every woman NEEDS to read this book.

Question: What would you change about your spouse?
Answer: I'd change his view-point on himself, and give him the ability to see himself through my eyes.

Question; If your teenage daughter came to you and told her she was pregnant, what would you say?
Answer: "Is it April? Its April fools isn't it?". Haha, kidding. I'd discuss options and warn her about how hard raising a baby will be and go from there..

Question: How do you deal with disappointment?
Answer: I ALWAYS try to find a positive in it...and if I cannot change it, I learn and move on.

Question: Do you want children? If so, when?
Answer: Yes. Very soon..before 30-32.

Question: Whats your ideal wedding?
Answer: Private beach (NO resort wedding!), just him and I, our immediate family only.

Question: Whats the last thing you said out-loud?
Answer: "Not even gonna give me some sugar??" (Man-friend was leaving the house without a kiss!)

Question: What song would you use to describe your relationship?
Answer: "Love Song" by The Cure

Question: Is there a pick-up line that MAY work on you?
Answer: "Did you hear that noise? That's the sounds of your underwear flying across my room". Its awful, but would make me laugh SO hard, I'd have to at least TALK to that person..haha.

Question: What does the world need?
Answer: A drink...seriously.

Question: What are 3 things people should know about you?
Answer: 1) I'm very patient 2) If I am very quiet, I have too many things on my mind. 3) I seem shy and sweet when you first meet me...but am actually quite loud and arrogant.

Question: Are you a romantic?
Answer: Its sickening how romantic I am...I want roses, love letters and surprise dinners! (Not all at once..haha)

Question: What type of person annoys you?
Answer: Mean-hearted people and People who complain about their life, yet do NOTHING to change it. The past is THE PAST...nothing changes, if nothing changes.

Weeellllll I think that's enough questions for one night. I got these all from a bunch of different websites and just closed my eyes and picked at random.  This really was a RANDOM Thursday night blog...

Love, Laura xoxox

To The Loves of my Life..

Happy Long weekend! I know what you're thinking; didn't she ALREADY make a blog about being back home..and wasn't it called "breath and reboot"? Yes, yes I did. And this one is along those same lines, but with a different twist.  I attended a wedding this past weekend in an even SMALLER town than I am from. Still very close (about 20 mins away from Smoky..) called "Bellis". Seriously..don't blink or you'll miss it.  Long story short, one of my best friends got married!!! She took the plunge and was the first of all of us to do it! It was such a fantastic day and night and really brings you back down to earth and puts things into perspective...read on.

Growing up, I had a super tight group of girls I hung out with. There was 6 of us and they are the most amazing people you could ever meet. We are still good friends to this day; its been OVER 15 years! No, we don't get together THAT often, in fact this was the first time since around March/April. But every time we meet again, its as if no time has passed at all.  Sometimes with the business of each others lives and new friends/men in our lives, we all lose track of who we used to be.  This weekend, I think I can speak for the 6 of us, when I say, we all feel re-freshed and back down to earth. 

These fine ladies have been my life line for a long time. We have been through SO many things together..some we remember fondly..and some we TRY to remember, although kind of fuzzy ha ha.  As we get older, we all get our own lives and get busy with our jobs and partners. But as Saturday night fell upon us, we resorted back to memorized Backstreet Boys dances and old country line dances we learned in junior high. We felt like we were 16 all over again...but with more vodka running through our veins.  The laughs were endless, as were the hugs.  Sure we all have jobs/men making our lives crazy, but that all goes away once we all get together again.

We've all seen the BEST and WORST of each other and for me, I wouldn't change a thing about ANY of them.  I have been so amazingly blessed with such a group of incredible women and hope they feel the same.  I would also like to single our my NOW married girlfriend and say her wedding was perfect. Exactly her style...simple and fun! She has married her best friend and (as cheesy as it is..) they really do prove, that all you need is love.  To the rest of my girls, I love you more than anything.  We all have our own set of friends separately, but no one knows you better than the friends that you grew up with and for me, there is nothing more grounding than seeing them and realizing how blessed you are.

"We made a deal ages ago; men, babies..it doesn't matter. We're Soulmates"  - SATC

Love, Laura xoxox

"Without music, life would be a Mistake"

Aloha! I thought I'd change up my usual "Good day!" in hopes that you now picture yourself on a beach...perfect. Getting right into the heart of the matter, like the title says...life would be a mistake. I got thinking today on my trip home, almost EVERY moment of my life has been surrounded by music. There are very few "silent" moments. I always need to be listening to it one way or another.  I am a music fanatic and I really feel there is an appropriate song, for every moment in life.  If you have the app 'Songza", then you know what i am talking about. You can literally put on music for ANY mood you are in. Seriously, whether its "Breaking up" or "making love", there is a topic on that App for ANYTHING! (..even vacuuming!)

So I thought I'd collaborate a list of 10 songs I will listen to for the rest of my life (..and not get sick of!) and for the hell of it, I'll explain WHY these songs mean so much to me.

1) Lifehouse - "Everything" This song has gotten me through some crappy relationship times. Its a great sloooow song and can make you smile, and in MANY cases, cry your eyes out if needed..depending what mood you're in when you hear it.

2) Usher - "Numb"  THIS song has gotten me through SO many things! I won't get into detail, but sometimes as he says in the song, you just need to go numb and forget about everything and do what you gotta do for YOU!

3) Miranda Lambert - "The house that built me  This song will always remind me of where I came from, and how sometimes a big city can change you. You get lost and sometimes forget who you once used to be.

4) Adele - "Love song" This is a cover she did by "The Cure" and every time I hear it it brings me back to the FIRST time I heard it, and it was with someone who I care about, an immense amount (..you might even say..Love, but that'll be our secret!) and, without going into detail, its very personal and the lyrics are perfect.

5) Limp Bizkit - "Break Stuff" I know this isn't a typical "emotional" song, but ever since I discovered this band, I have rocked out to this song whenever I'm having a BAD day.

6) Tone Loc - "Funky Cold Medina" I know what you're thinking.."um..what?". But THIS song will forever remind me of my dad! Every time he drives me home on (most) Sundays, we ALWAYS listen to this song and he does this strange impression of the "night at the Roxbury" head bob. I'm seriously laughing while writing this...ha ha.

7)Kelly Clarkson - "Maybe" The lyrics "I don't want to be tough..And I don't want to be proud. I don't need to be fixed and I certainly don't need to be found, I'm not lost..I need to be loved" describe me to a "T". This whole song does actually.

8) Kenny Chesney - "Young" This was my high school grad song, and every time I hear it, it takes me right back to those moments.

9) Staind - "So far away" Really anything by staind will be played until my last god given breath. But this song reminds me of when I finally got my shit together in life, but yet still is relatable to now.

10) Backstreet Boys - "All I have to Give" With my never ending love for these 5 beauties, I had to put at least ONE song by them in, and this one has always been my favorite. It takes me back to good ol' Grade.8 and the posters, CD's, video tapes...memorizing EVERY dance move and lyrics...ah to be young again.

Ah well, that's the list. There are a million songs that I will forever listen to, but these will always be some of me all time favorites of all time!  Please feel free to let me know some of your favorites...perhaps they will become one of mine!

Love, Laura xoxox

                                  "Music is my religion" - Jimi Hendrix

I heard your a player? nice to meet you, I'm the COACH!

      
      Good (insert time of day while reading this..)my curious reader. I bet the title of this blog had you just itching to read! Well, its a little more personal and deep than my usual rants...but its been on my mind lately and as you know..I write about what i know.

       I know a little TOO much about the ol' art of infidelity. As MOST of you reading this know me personally, you know little to none of the "inner-workings" of my mind. This is a sensitive topic, as I know it'll offend some people or even make some people hate me, but as per-usual, i live my life in a YOLO fashion...so here goes...

      Any close friends I've ever had, have heard some CRAZY stories from me in terms of men/dating/relationships. They've even witnessed my crimes of passion and like good friends, keep it on the DL just saying 'Oh Laura..!" which has just become the norm. and no longer are they shocked by my shenanigans. I am ashamed to admit, I've hurt more than my fair share of people and know how to play the game. I never wanted a "serious" relationship in my younger days, and when it finally came knocking at my door..i thought "what the hell..", which always seems like the right answer. And for a while it was. BUT (prepare for hateful judgment in 3..2..1..) I was faithful-ISH in my 7+ year relationship. I was young..and bored and that is a dangerous game. And I played that game on more than one occasion, which FEW people know about, but here it is folks...I fooled around...on MORE than a couple occasions. 

     Now that that's out in the open, I can take you deeper into the mind of a cheater.  I'm not sure WHY i did (or repeatedly did it..). i think it was for the rush. The newness and the fact that, although in a committed relationship, I still had "it".  I know lots of people ask, well don't you feel guilty? Well, of course. But never in that moment. And not enough to ever say anything...perhaps I missed that gene. It wasn't an easy task. Lies are exhausting and you have to constantly remember everything said/did/where you were, etc. In case you were ever caught in a lie...unfortunately for me, the person I was with was too damn trusting (THAT'S when the guilt kicks in..thinking about that).  So why not break it off? (another EXCELLENT question) Because i still loved him. But personally speaking, I have the sex drive of female cat in heat (sorry ma'!) and if I ain't getting it at home, I shall peruse other resources...and when you got all THIS going on, there was NO shortage of those resources. (That's last part was a joke...seriously I DO NOT think I'm all THAT ha ha)

     For those who are not in tune to my blogging, The reason him and I broke-up was (you guessed it) my dirty cheating ways.  After we ended things, I had a lot of time to think about what I had done and all the past bull shit I've done. First off, BAD love karma and second, what the HELL is my problem?? Instead of thinking the grass is greener on the other side, why can't I just water my own grass?? If I had a friends sitting across from me, telling me all THESE things they've done, I'd ask them, why not just be single? Or maybe you did love him/them, and loved the idea of having someone to come home to, but wanted a little fun on the side?  Bottom line, reader: I'm not the amazing person some people think I am. I hurt people because I don't want anyone too close to me or to hurt me..so I always need to be the one to get the first hit in.

     Now I'm sure you're wondering, well what about this new relationship? Once cheater, always a cheater? I've spent the last couple weeks contemplating all those old cliches and I do think its possible for people to change. Its figuring out what you REALLY want, and sticking with it. I have decided what I want, once and for all, and although not deserving of it..I just want to be happy and in a COMMITTED, loving relationship. No more games..no more chasing. I'm tired of the chase..its a lonely life and it just reiterates the disrespect for yourself. After all.." Cheating is a choice, not a mistake.."

"..I know I've been mistaken, but just give me a break and see the changes I've made.  I've got some imperfections, but how can you collect them all and throw them in my face"  -Staind Lyrics.

some things to ponder about..

Love, Laura xoxox

Passions..on top of Passion?

Good day...I said GOOD DAY!

Its been quite some time since I've blogged, eh? (Canadian EH!?) But I figured I'd get you all up to speed on my life, and new lifestyle choices.  I'll give you a bit of a back round story first: In January of this year, I toyed with the idea of going back to old career choice, Esthetics. I figured, new year, new job..? I played back and forth with the idea and every time I decided to bring it up to someone, they were ALL for it. But there is ALWAYS someone who lives life in the cautious lane (my loving mother) and always warned me against it; saying.. "I don't know Pie, you have such a good job, benefits..etc." or "DO you really think that's a good idea?" an so forth. SO, I never made the move, constantly hearing her voice in the back of my mind like a tiny mosquito in your ear.

WELL, a month ago, I saw this quote on Pinterest.. "Making a BIG life change is pretty scary, but you know whats even scarier?..Regret". SO, I squashed that mosquito and decided to start on my search. I did not tell anyone (seriously..NO ONE.) about my life change, as I am a very influential person, in the fact that, if someone said "not a good idea.." (as in my past..) I'd shy away from the change and continue living my daily life.  SO, all opinions to the side, I came across an "Eye Lash Technician" job ad and decided to apply! She called me that day, and I went for the interview that same evening. I went back the next day to practice on a mannequin (to really make sure I knew what was involved) and I impressed her with my dazzling skills (and amazing personality..HA) and she said "well, the job is yours if you're interested". To which I said "absolutely!" and gave my notice the next day.

If you're wondering, yes I did cry when giving my notice. I had worked at my old job for 3+ years; had my own office and had people answer to me. I worked with the most amazing group of people, but at the end of the day I knew my heart just wasn't in it anymore AND it was not where my passion lived.  My passion my beautiful reader lies within the beauty industry. Its not necessarily lashes, but that's part of it. I WILL open my own spa and I figured this was a skill that would be AMAZING to offer my clients. SO I took a pay cut (for now..) and went forth with it; thinking of my future.

The BIGGEST point I'm making is that life is short, we must do what we love.  You need to find out what you really want out of this life and what FEELS right, and go forth with it. You need to block out all the "nay-Sayers" and do what you need to do. Someone people stand in your way, because they are to scared to dream BIG. Well this lady, is NOT one of those people. You could come up to me tomorrow and say "Hay! I'm going to become a clown and join the circus" and my exact phrase would be "Uhhh OK..random...but live your dreams circus man, live your dreams!!".  The best way to figure out your passion, If you won the lottery/unlimited life funds, what would you do? Well, first I'd pay of all debts..travel..buy a home, etc. But after ALL that, I'd STILL open up a spa because as they say "IF you love your job, you'll never work another day in your life..".

Figure out what your passion is and let it ignite you..Just a little tip from me to you.

Love, Laura xoxox

My Drunk Blog..(short and sweet..)

So I'm into the vodka..sitting in bed, other half is having a chit-chat with an old friend, and it's about 8:30..give er' take..

I decide to blog..about what you might ask? I have no idea..the bitch writing this is drunk. But seriously though, I do have an idea for this blog..lets see if I find it along the way. But first a sip from my secret lover...mmm OK where was I..OH! I found it! My idea was about walls..and why we put them up. Anyone who has had the enormous pleasure of getting to REALLY know me, knows I have a huge heart. In extremely sensitive, caring, romantic, over-thinker and constantly have a million things on my mind. But on the outside, (and to people are not close to me..yet..) I seem cold, thoughtless and I come across as very aggressive and arrogant. My arrogance has always been my best defense mechanism..that, and sarcasm. I've used it too keep people as a safe distance..for fear of them getting to know me, and hating me. THAT, is a truth I've never said out loud (or you've read.. In your mind).

Having said all that, WHY, my reader, do we put there walls up? To see who cares enough to knock them down? To never feel vulnerable? There is SO many beautiful things that we hide away out of fear..but it's the beautiful things that make us who we are..and the reason why people love us SO much. Why can't we let them in? For me..I fear judgment and rejection. I like to feel like I always have the upper hand and am one tough bitch (which I am), but sometimes I get tired of that. Sometimes I just want to take that mask off and be real. Cry, show my battle scars, and not worry about one.damn.thing.

Ah well, that's enough vodka-talk for one night. On the flip side, you ever want to REALLY get to know me? Drink with me, and I promise to tell you EVERYTHING...just ask my co-workers. Screaming "sometimes you just want to fuck, you know what I mean?" While your drinking with them, can and WILL follow you through the rest of your career...(I was in the midst of a break up, OK? and drinking straight vodka..) keep that in mind and learn from your pal, Laura.

 

Love, laura xoxox

 

When is compromise...compromising?

Good evening my reader!

Its seriously been a while since I've blogged ANYTHING, but I've been a busy mamacita! Anyways, getting right into it, when does the art of compromise, become compromising?

I've been really thinking about this lately. When we begin new relationships, there is always a little give and take. No one is perfect, although both parties SEEM to be in the honeymoon stage, until BAM! 3-4 months in...you both reveal your true selves.  Now I'm not speaking from experience here (or maybe I am...you shall never know..) but after the 'glitz and glamour' of the new relationship fades away like Paris Hilton's singing career..things take an..interesting turn.

I call this little "turn-pike" GROWING PAINS. Anyone who has moved in with someone knows what I am talking about. Lovey and dovey it begins..both SO happy to be living with each other, wake-up together, cuddle while the sun is going down..frequent sexy-time (sorry ma'). Then all of a sudden BOOM! Huge explosive mess of each others personalities finally show! Imagine throwing 2 buckets of paint at a wall- that's the mess I am talking about. One reveals their love of down-time, relaxation, early bed-time during the week. And the other reveals their true love of staying out at all hours, noise-complaint inducing music, and partying like the rock-star they truly are!  Now, its NOT like either party "hide" these parts...they just kept them in a dark corner, like a caged animal ready to be freed from the chains.

So, you begin to compromise with each others lives. OK we relax a bit for you tonight, and I'll go out and party-hearty the next night..and maybe the next night..deal? OK! Meanwhile, the "relaxer" isn't necessarily happy with all these decisions. BUT at the same time, neither is the rock star (what the HELL is relaxation????!! she will say..or he..HA!) At this point, it can become compromising. Doing things JUST to appease the other person, making deals, bribes, promises you don't intend to keep...which in turn leaves someone unhappy and eventually leading to a life of resentment..possibly HATE.  I believe the art of compromise can become compromising, when your just doing everything to appease the other person. You should never say yes to someone, while saying no to yourself. Stand your ground, grow a set and let the other person know when they're ass is PUSHING it..

Every relationship is different. When you move on from a past one, into a new one, you can never expect it to be the same...you're not with the same person anymore, correct? Being a true Leo, I have a VERY hard-time compromising. I feel it should be MY way or NO way...but as the days go on, I am learning compromise is not a negative thing. Its letting both parties get a little of what each other wants, and allows you to both move on and come to a decision.  I can promise you (if you are going through these growing pains..) it gets better. you move past the 3-4 month itch, and things just get easier. You get into a better routine and finally start to relax a little...this goes for BOTH people. And trust me when I say, it helps to have those growing pains. You learn different things about each other, since after all, if things were PERFECT all the time..frankly, I'd be worried...as I am not a step-ford wife (FAR from).

Love, Laura
xoxox

Breathe..and reboot..

Good Evening my amazing reader!

I figured since its been a while since I posted something, I should get on it. I've been back and forth lately; toying with different blog ideas and have finally come up with one.  I took a trip back home today (for Easter with the fandamily..) and its truly amazing how a single trip back home can really ground you again...

Life is funny and strange sometimes and can throw a true bag of shit, warranted or not. In the last week, I've been thrown a LARGE bag of this natural compost! All details aside, it was amazing how this short day trip really brought my mind back down to earth and gave me a clear head. I'm not sure whether its the clean country air, or the fact that its so amazingly silent and you can actually HEAR your own thoughts, as opposed to fire trucks. 

It has been at least 10 years since I walked around that little town, and it was just the same as I left it. We took a walk to my old junior-high/high school and it was as if nothing had changed. It was a humbling experience and reminded me of the young, innocent girl I used to be. The girl with BIG dreams; who couldn't wait to get the HELL out of that place. Now sometimes, all I want is that life back..

Being back there truly made me remember the person I once was. In the words of Miranda Lambert "Out here, its like I'm someone else, I thought that maybe I could find myself..". Truer words have never been spoken...plus I love that song..ha! In conclusion my friend, sometimes it takes a step back in time to remember what you truly want out of this life and who you once were; don't let the harshness of a big city/different town take away that once, innocent, young smile with a head full of BIG dreams.

Love, Laura xoxo

February wrap-up/March to-do..

Hello you!

 

To Wrap up this YOGA FEBRUARY, I thought I’d let you know how it went! (PS: YES, I am aware that it is the 4^th of March…I am a tad behind, deal with it.)  Since January was a complete BUST, I was determined to make this one GREAT..And guess what? IT WAS!!!!  I bought an unlimited pass at “Still Point Yoga Studio” on Jasper and 112st, which (for NEW students) is ONLY $40!

 Seeing as my Yoga practice was short lived in the past and all I’ve ever really known was HOT yoga, this was a delightful change. The room is heated, but it’s more “toasty” than a typical “sweat-your-bag-off” class I used to take at Moksha Studio.  Yin Yoga has been BY FAR the best class. It’s SO relaxing and I love holding the GOOOOOOOD stretch for longer…and it truly is “moving mediation”. After every class you leave….happy. And stress-free…it's amazing.

 Ah well, just thought I’d get you up to speed on that AND inform you what MARCH will be (a 2-in-one blog..Believe it!!!!!). I have decided to deem this month as “Picture-a-day March”. So I will be instagraming like it’s going out of style. The pictures will range from a cute puppy I saw, to a random stranger I thought looked interesting…(and NO they won't be ALL of me...even though I know you LOVE seeing my beautiful face..)*creeper!*. I will be posting them to my Facebook and perhaps at the end of the month do a run-through in a month-end blog….we’ll see how much gusto I have by then….

 Here’s some from the first 4 days of March:

MARCH.1st
This is my "sad face"..I sent it to my man-friend via text to make him feel bad...for reasons I cannot explain haha.



MARCH 2nd
Lookin' fresh faced after a relaxing facial with my mumsie!!

MARCH 3RD
I came across this on Pineterest and it made me LOL for REAL!

MARCH 4TH
Ahh Mondays...this is my office (half of it..) and this is actually TIDY compared to what it WILL look like in the next few days...so much paper...its downhill from here.

 

Love is patient..Love is kind..

 

 

    So I’ve sitting around all day AKA working, wondering what to write about…and then it hit me like a ten pound cat-fish! Love…sweet magical, frustrating Love. As the famous Cher quoted “Love don’t need a reason..she can pick you up, or leave you bleeding”. Some of us search our whole life searching for that ONE great love. Some of us find love in other things…maybe your true love is your job, your new baby…your dog. Whatever it is, it’s worth EVERY frustrating, broken heart moment.

 

    Why do we fall in love SO easy, even when we know it’s not right?  Speaking from personal experience, my aspiration in life is to find and keep great love; I want to be THAT couple that people know they are in presence of GREAT love when around us. YES, I did spend a large chunk (7 years..) of my life with someone I always knew wasn’t exactly right for me. Some would ask, well why would you stay and waste your time? Well, I wouldn’t consider that a waste of time. I suppose you kind of get used to the idea of someone being in your life, and if it works and your happy-ish..why change? As someone who doesn’t like change and enjoys routine, that was right up my alley. We got along, he was my best friend and we had a comfortable life and I think we both just used to it. And sometimes it’s just easier to stay then to leave. Which is kind of sad when you REALLY think about it. Life is SO short, why the HELL do we stay and invest in something that doesn’t make us grow…and we’re just too damn lazy to just make a move….or are we afraid of being, dare I say, ALONE? 

 

    Sometimes, it takes us meeting that ‘great love” to realize, what exactly, we were missing in our life. That love that makes you question EVERY idea you ever had about life and love in general. And sometimes you have to STOP in your tracks and wonder if this person was created out of your dreams or perhaps someone REALLY is listening to your wishes? People come into your life for many reasons; some stay for a while, and some leave shortly after they’ve entered.  I often used to hear about people finding their “soul mates”, saying “you just know”..”you can feel it”. And I always used to wonder..HOW? HOW can you feel it?? What the HELL does “it” feel like??? But believe ME, when you know you’ve found the person you’re meant to walk this life with, there’s NO more questions..you just know.  I remember asking my mom-Faye when she knew my dad was “the one” and she said (without skipping a beat) “after our first date”….THAT is great love at its finest, and I finally understand.

 

    In conclusion my beautiful reader, I hope that whatever Love you have, it’s great..and NOTHING less than spectacular. That is ALL you deserve, as life is too short to put up with anything less than butterflies…

 

Love, Laura xoxo

February: Yoga Month!

"OOOOooommmmm"

Good day avid reader!

 First of all, please accept my apologies that this is coming to you a TAD late; seeing as its now February.8^th! But I figured I’d let you in on this month’s NEW resolution!  I have decided to peg February as “Yoga Month”! And I’m actually pretty excited for it. I start on Sunday and am happy to be getting back into it.  I am buying a monthly unlimited pass with a friend and we’ve already made out our schedule for the month…SO we have NO excuse!

 Since last month’s resolution was kind of a bust (OK a HUGE mess…), I am determined to make this one a WIN. I’m sure it will because I enjoy yoga and could really use the relaxation.  Anyways, that’s all for now..I will keep you posted on my progress as the time goes on J

 ove, Laura xoxox

January Resolution: Success or complete bust??

Good day!

 So I bet you’re sitting there..in anticipation, DYING to know how my “sober” January went. Well, first let me just say…in order to succeed, you must first fail. In short, sober January, wasn’t very sober. I lasted about 9 days and then peer pressure/random Thursday night shenanigans took control of me..and then the weekend preceded those actions. What can I say? I am a sucker for a goodtime??

 I will say, that Karma is horrible bitch goddess. I put out into the universe AKA Facebook, that I was going to sober up for 1 month and alas I did not. SO, my first weekend back into it, JUST as we were getting ready to get  a cab, I tripped over a friend and ended up spraining my foot..OUCH! But I am SUCH an all-star that I went out anyways and danced on it all night. Needless to say, the next day I did NOT feel like much of an all-star..in fact I didn’t feel much of anything; minus the BLINDING foot pain. So for about a week after that I limped around, swearing at myself for my drinking failure and lack of will-power (DAMN YOU good times!!). By the time the NEXT weekend rolled around, my sprain-pain had subsided but now I was in a whole NEW kind of pain..on the OTHER side of my foot. The pain was so excruciating, that I layed on the couch for 2 days barely able to move around, and the thought of drinking just irritated me, since THAT was the reason I was in this hot mess!  By Monday morning, I had HAD it! I figured it was pain related to my previous weekends injury, so I went to the doc’s to find out if I MAYBE broke something..or had jaundice of the toe…

 SO, turns out..I had Gout. Yea…GOUT! It was apparent at this moment, the universe was against me and telling me this was a sign to cut out the drinking…for now anyways. IF you don’t know much about gout (I’m a poet and I don’t even know it..HA), it can be brought on my alcohol and/or poor diet…BOTH of which I was going off, as partying leads to next morning grease…it just goes hand in hand. SO, all in all my judgmental reader, the first months resolution did not pan out as expected..at least I’ve have 2 sober weekends and I don’t drink during the week…except that random Thursday…!!! Just trying to think about the positive…Alas, I am off the sauce for LONG time, seriously this time…just TRY and stop me!!!

 

Have a glorious weekend!!

 

Love, Laura xoxox

Its called a break-up, because its broken..

"You won't be needing THIS!"

Good day!

 Giving into my light work-load these past few days, I’ve decided to do ANOTHER blog. Not about resolutions or an update on my “no drinking January” (although I’m doing well!), but instead about THE BIG BREAK-UP.  I haven’t talked openly about this; with the exception of telling some girlfriends, but it REALLY is called a Break-up because its exactly that…Broken.

 I’ve always had the same attitude of other peoples relations, being that no one else is in that relationship except those 2 people…NO ONE. No one REALLY knows what goes on behind closed doors with other couples. UNLESS you’re an open book…which, anyone who knows me, knows I am VERY private because frankly, my relationship is no one else’s business. For example, you have a friend who tells you something shitty her bf did; the next time you see said boyfriend, that’s ALL you think about! THUS the reason I don’t talk about my relationships.

 Now I’m not going to sit here and tell the whole storey about what happened between him and I, but I will let you know, I thought about it for over a year. My head was constantly filled with questions; “is he the one?” “am I SURE this is what I want”..”What if I do it and realize I made the biggest mistake of my life?”. That last question haunted me for a year, but like I always say, Life is short and sometimes you just have to take a chance.  And I went forth with my “chance taking” and ended up meeting someone unbelievably amazing and completely unexpected.

 Now, details aside, what I did was completely inexcusable and NO ONE deserves that. I can never take back what I did and I have to live with that every day.  I have to live with the fact that I literally ripped the heart out (and played basketball with for a bit..) of the person who loved me more than anything…and loved me more that I deserved.  Many people seem to think I am just a heartless bitch who could care less about what I did. The real reality of it: There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about it.  I know that will lessen with time, and as he moves on the better his life will become too, hopefully.  I am sincere in the fact that I hope he has an amazing life. We had a great relationship the past 7 years and I’ll always have those memories. He was also a great man-friend and anyone who knew him can attest to that…well being a great friend…not man-friend, lets clear that up ha-ha. He will be amazing for the right girl and he deserves someone incredible, truly.

 On the lighter side, I will finish off with this. I have never been so incredibly happy in my life. Everything kind of fell together as It should, and I have no regrets…NONE.  Quoted by Drake: “The best relationships, are the ones you never expect to be in..”.

 Love, Laura xoxox

 

January: Sober Month

“A drunk man’s words, are a sober man’s thoughts..”

        So as I am sure you clued in from my last blog, that January is “SOBER MONTH”.  I am actually pretty excited about it; not that I am a ragging alcoholic, but I can literally count on 1 hand how many weekends I’ve been sober since BEFORE October…THAT, my friend, is an inconvenient truth. I’ve been going out almost every weekend, and let me tell you, living like a rock star isn’t cheap….except when you bring in a bottle of rum to the bar…GUILTY!

         I really feel like my liver will thank me. Being a HARD alcohol drinker, I don’t waste time. Vodka is my drug of choice (as is my ol’ stand by JD) and I am a self-proclaimed “power drinker”. Basically, “I don’t waste time” means, I will drink it straight…in some cases from the bottle, but mostly double vodka with a splash of 7-up…hell, I’ve even been doing Vodka-water during my most recent excursions (I know your shuttering at that thought). I’m not a “casual” drinker, being that I don’t have a couple, a few nights a week. I pick 1 day, and go BALLS OUT. Good-times. SO GOOD in fact, I had a verbal run-in at a gay bar last month…too much Patron…too many divas in the room. At that point, I’d say it’s best to put the bottle DOWN.

         I think this goal will be pretty easy to attain. I have no events planned for this month (so far..) and I don’t rely on the hooch at all…I just like to go out and have a good time, and somehow Jagger-bombs find their way to my mouth…HA. I WILL be posting on Facebook if I have a slip up, so you can harass me then about it…don’t tip-toe around my feelings either ha-ha.

 Peace in the middle-east :D

 Love, Laura xoxox

Resolutions: 12 Months of Goals

Hello Beautiful reader..

 WOWZA! It has been a SUPER longtime since I’ve blogged about ANYTHING!  It seems the last few months have been a bit crazy and I’ve made a lot of changes in my life…for the BETTER! Love lost..Love gained; that old chestnut.  ANYWAYS, I come to you today regarding New Year’s Resolutions. Now, I usually shy away from these types of things, BUT, my brilliance always surprises me. I have decided to do “12 months of Goals”; if you didn’t get that from the title..read on…

 Instead of creating 1 or 2 solid goals for the year, I’m going to make 12 goals (1 for each month) for an entire year.  I feel these will be MORE attainable, as its only for a month. And no, I won’t have a month of “get healthy”, then eat spray cheese for the rest of the year; as I’m on a “get healthy” kick year around. They will be more fun and entertaining!  Below is a list of monthly goals I WILL meet:

 -          “Vegetarian” month

-          “Sober” month (this will most likely be January..)

-          “NO Coffee” month (this also means NO starbucks…ERMEGERD!)

-          “Minimal Make-up” month (only foundation/mascara…I am still considering this one, as it sounds more like a nightmare right now…)

-          “Yoga” month (this one may turns into a weekly thing…dependant on my downward dog capabilities.. >.< )

-          “Picture-a-day” month (YAY for instagram!)

-          “NO swearing” month (all who know me, know this’ll be a difficult month…be prepared for a few “GEE Whizzers”..”GEEZ LOUISE’S”…and plenty of “EHRMEGERDS!!!”

-          “Cook something weird/foreign/complicated” once a week, for a month

-          “Spend more time with friends/family” month ( THIS should be done already…but I’ll make a hard effort for 1 month..that is all ha-ha.)

-          “Just say YES” month (YES to mini-golfing, YES to Starwars, YES to octopus, YES to eating the scorpion in the tequila…etc.)

-          “Talk more, text less” month (so basically CALL instead of text…I know…MIND.BLOWN)

-          “Stop and smell the Roses” month (Basically means I will buy fresh flowers once a week…or maybe more depending on the time of year..)

 

All in all, I am pretty satisfied with all of those. I mean really, it’s only a MONTH of each of those. And if I so chose, they might carry into other months (such as the no coffee…yoga..roses, etc.). Along with each of these month goals, I will be making a “Happy Jar”. I saw this on Facebook and Pinterest recently! You write down things that happened throughout the year (good of course) and put them in the jar, and on New years Eve of this year, you go through them and see all the amazing things that happened through the year! When I heard of that, I was like DONE!

 Anyways, I will be blogging about each months progress and what goal I’ve chosen for that month. Obviously January’s goal is going to be “Sober month”…as my liver is crying out for it!  Hope you enjoyed this post, my apologies I’ve been slack-a-lackin in the blog department, but get over it :D. Have a truly fantastic day!

 Love, Laura xoxox