If you've read my past blog entries you know I've said "Its been a while since I've posted.." but it has really..REALLY been a while. Well over a year, honestly. I've had some ideas kicking through my mind lately and figured I'd like to get back into it!
So as you see from the title, I was indeed a self-made "party girl"- however this is not about wild stories and/or drunken debauchery..as much as you'd like to hear those stories, they are locked in a vault never to to be seen/heard/told or perhaps mimed..if you will, ever again. More so, my search for more peace and less noise.
I've spent the last 12 years of my life periodically partying. The last 3 years however, have been the most crazy. Between the bars, boys (sorry ma') and booze, I was on top of the world. Minimal hours of sleep, copious amounts of coffee, clutched like a wide-eyed owl to a mouse on my morning commute and a head full of bad (yet so good) decisions. A line from a great song reads, "Cigarettes and tiny liquor bottles, just what you'd expect inside her new Balenciaga" about sums up my life back then. Sleep was for the dead and midnight was when things just started to get good. 6 am rolled around and I'd think, "well I SHOULD get some sleep...do something with my life tomorrow", but I never did. My life consisted of sleeping the day away (or working) and then back to it that night.
I began hanging out with like-minded people and it was downhill from there. These relationships only existed based on the fact that we partied together and had no substance; you begin hanging out with old friends less and less because they're "not on your level" any-more...which is heart-breaking if you really think about it. I remember I posted a picture on Instagram with the caption "First meal in 24 hours #partyingisoutofcontrol"..someone should posted "y'all need Jesus" under the picture.
While I'm not an image of sobriety (I'm definitely not) I still enjoy a couple glasses of wine once in a while or I'll have a few on the weekend but "drunk Laura" is a rare occurrence these days. So rare in fact that I was sober on New years, which if you know me, you'd ask yourself if you were in a twilight zone?! Mostly I was tired of the "hang over"; I've never had one before but what I mean is the memories, the loose lips and remembering things I said or did and shuttering with embarassment. I am tired of the "party people" and the shallow conversations and craziness...most of all, the mess to clean up the next day. I wake up clear headed and can actually do things in the morning; in fact I will purposely schedule things in the morning to ensure I avoid any random whiskey excursions.
In Conclusion, If you happen to see me out or are in my home and we are having a time, know it was well thought out and planned and I'll still most likely be in bed by 12am (hell 11:30pm these days). This gals party days are behind her and it was great while it lasted; definitely with NO regrets. 30 is the new sober in my books and while, I'll "turn up" as the kids say, every now and then, I am completely happy with my decision...and I'm sure my liver thanks me.
Love, Laura xoxo