Friday, November 21, 2014

You're allowed to Love yourself, I Promise.

Well hello..

Its been SO long since I've blogged; I literally cannot remember the last time I did. I've had some ideas come to fruition but am without my laptop at the that's pretty much my excuse, deal with it.

I've had this idea for a while, and I originally go it from a post I read called " Things no one will tell fat girls, so I will..". There was a particular part that stuck out to me called "You're allowed to Love yourself. I promise". Now, at first, I was like...well of course...everyone should love themselves...and love you, etc. But then I carried on living my life and didn't think about it again...until recently. Anyone who knows me, knows I am pretty confidant. I 'm genuinely happy with who I am and anything I am not happy with..I've changed. I don't think I am beautiful, despite my body..I am beautiful BECAUSE of it.

Anyways, I digress. I got to thinking about how hard it has been over the years to FULLY accept my physical appearance. I seem to accept it just fine, its other people who seem to have a problem with it. And I'm not just talking about "fat girls"...even men who aren't perfect have the same problem. Why should we feel ashamed for loving ourselves?? Its like there's some unwritten rule stating, anyone who's not built like an Olympic gymnast should not be allowed to love their body. Its like you have to keep it a secret, for fear of being shunned if you walk around with *dare I say* your head held high, ENJOYING your uniqueness!

I have not-to-recently been following a ridiculously beautiful plus-seized model, Tess Munster. She preaches about body confidence and hash tags all of her pictures with "#effyourbeautystandards", to which I applaud her. She isn't your usual "size 12 Plus-size" model (those are just normal looking women) shes a LEGIT big girl...and shes fucking beautiful, she makes me jealous..seriously. I've seen her in interviews and YouTube videos and I also follow her on Instagram and she travels around the states doing "tours", in which she invites women of ALL sizes to meet her and take part in "pin-up" photo-shoots. She is NOT only a plus sized advocate, but women who are sometimes criticized for being TOO skinny. Sure, she gets the haters; people preach to her about being healthy, losing weight, etc., but she's pretty quick to ignore it and carry on her inspiring words.

On a related topic, why the HELL can't we all just drop the bull-shit and just be happy with ourselves. Instead of the constant body obsessing? I feel like it would be a huge weight off some peoples shoulders if you just stop fighting and start appreciating. I have the most beautiful friends, and sometimes they ask me how I am so confidant? my immediate response is, "look at this face. And you tell me..". I'm kidding, seriously though, its just part of my routine. I HAVE to love myself; I live by the old adage that "if you don't love yourself, how do you expect anyone else too?" and for that matter what the HELL is it anyone else's business HOW I feel about myself? Is it affecting their life in anyways? I somehow doubt it...

Bottom line, my beautiful friend; you MUST love yourself. Or learn to. There are FAR too many people walking this earth who are uncomfortable in their own skin. Life is so god damn you really want to live your life hating yourself??? If you don't like it, change it...stop complaining. OR learn to love yourself. I am not saying this is going to happen over night; its as simple as looking at yourself every morning and saying "Good Morning Beautiful" (I just gave away my secret..), which is a great way to start. Instead of looking at yourself in the mirror seeing flaws..start picking out things you like about your matter how small they are. In the words of Oscar Wilde "To love oneself, is the beginning of a lifelong romance".
Love, Laura

Friday, August 29, 2014

Done with great love; I'm back to great lovers.

Hello my loves!

It has been FAR too long since I’ve blogged anything. And to be honest, I am writing this at work. Hay, its long weekend Friday…I have no use for work…or pants for that matter, yet here we are. ANYWAYS, the reason for the season AKA the blog. I have been taking a break from the blogging to do some “vlogging” since it’s much easier to walk around and just talk. BUT, I didn’t want to just sit in front of the camera and talk about this crap, since that would be too long and my OWN boredom would’ve kicked it..

Single Life. Honestly…I never thought I’d be in this situation at this moment. To tell you the truth; I’ve NEVER been happier. I haven’t been single for close to 10 years, believe it or not. I kind of went from one relationship to the next, but yet I do not regret any of it. I learned a lot of who I was and what I REALLY wanted out of my life..and from a significant other. MORE so, they taught me about what I DON’T want. I would’ve never sit here and bad mouth, because that’s not my style and I was with them for my own reasons. At the end of the day, I am glad it happened, BUT, ask me about it on a different day and I might have a different answer. While most people don’t understand, this last one took a lot out of me. I put way more of myself into it than was deserved, and was left empty handed. I saw this quote on Pinterest and it couldn’t have been MORE true (I also posted it on Instagram!):

“I could feel my insides sink. My knees too. So I sat on the ground, against the wall, letting it support me. I thought I knew what heartbreak felt like. I thought heartbreak was me, eating by myself at a famous cafĂ© in the city. That was nothing. This, this was heartbreak. The pain in your chest, the ache behind your eyes. The knowing that things will never be the same again. It’s all relative, I suppose. You think you know Love, you think you know real pain, but you don’t. You don’t know anything.”

Enough about that. The reason for this blog, was my current dating experiences. I would never name, names or call anyone out. But I assure you…it has been interesting. I still feel strange going out on dates…or even getting hit on! Sometimes it dawns on me at weird times, like “damn, I CAN smile at that cute stranger in the Tim Horton’s line..”. I have met a few true “gems” and some real “5 stage clingers”, but I have met a select few I choose to keep around. I find myself being REALLY picky. I have high standards, and honestly…if ya don’t measure up, chances are you won’t be hearing from me again. Without names, I have sat across from someone on a dinner date (WORST DATES EVER) and been completely disgusted with them (I have a good poker face). I’ve also just hung out watching a movie and had an awesome time.

At this point in time, I really have no interest in going into a full on relationship with anyone. I am really enjoying the dating game and getting to know different people. Some people I meet are tired of the chase and tired of dating, and I’m sure I’ll get to that point someday. But that day is nottoday. I enjoy the idea of not being defined by another person and am free to live my life how I choose…and dammit, I feel happy that I only have to think about myself FOR ONCE. I feel more myself now, than I have in a long time. It’s so refreshing to know I can make plans without the concern for another person. I enjoy my solitude so much as well;“My alone feels so good, that I’ll only be with you if you are sweeter than my solitude”.

On a final note, my beautiful friend; I am happy. Happy being free, and it’s going to take someone amazing to change that. Here’s to having standards higher than our heels!!

Love, Laura xoxox

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

"And I quote.."

Hi Helloooo!

As a change from my usual rant and/or rave, I have compiled a list of "quotes" that I have chosen to live my life by. They pertain to all aspects of my life from Love/heartbreak to death/dying. This is kind of a "..what I have learnt so far.." type of quote list. So without further a goes..!


"Be all in, or get all out. There is no half way."
"After a while, you just want to be with the one who makes you laugh"
"How long they chose to love you, will never be your decision"
"Have the courage to trust love, one more time"
"I cannot decide if meeting you was the saddest or greatest day of my life, because my heart is split into two pieces made up of love and hatred..and both sides hold your name."
"Mind in one place, heart in another"
"I hope you never find the words to describe love, I hope you never ruin what cannot be explained; trying to understand it."
"Having perfected our disguise, we spend our lives searching for someone we don't fool."
"Just because someone someone doesn't love you the way you want them too, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have"
"I have named you Queen. There are taller than you, taller. There are purer than you, purer. There are lovelier than you, Lovelier. But you are the Queen."
"If you must die sweetheart, please die knowing that your life, was my life's best part"
"No reason to stay, is a good reason to go"
"..and that's when I realized you're not that fucking great"
"I remember when I first realized I Loved you. I found you in a crowded bar, before anyone else. You were wearing a collard shirt. I tried not to run to you. I touched you; you smelled good. I loved you"
"A man has 2 options in a relationship: Either stand up and be the man she needs, or sit down so she can see the one behind you"


"365 new days; 365 new chances"
"We ALL have something within us that this world needs"
"Don't put your happiness in someone Else's hands; they'll drop it. They'll drop it every time."
"People TOO often forget that its your choice how you want to spend the rest of your life"
"When it is all finished, you will discover that it was never random"
"If you ask the right questions, you will discover how truly fascinating people are"
"Everything is all in your head; stop worrying"
"STOP keeping track of the mistakes you've made, its time to forgive yourself"
"Everyone is fighting their own battles, try not to be a cunt"
"When you have exhausted all possibilities, haven't."
|Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment, are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment.  There is hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving in your own evolution"
"Be gentle with yourself today, your doing the best you can."
"Stop over analyzing"
"They want to see you do good, but never better than them. Remember that."
"Nobody has a god damn clue whats going on anytime, anyplace, anywhere. We're all just winging it...some people just look more confident than others"
"Listen,smile and agree. Then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyways"
"Life is so damn short, just do whatever the fuck makes you happy."
"Sometimes what your most afraid of doing, is the one thing that will set you free."
I'm letting I can be free"
"Your past is just a story, and once you realize that, it has no power over you."
"Let go of the past and the past will let go of you"


"Nothing makes a woman more beautiful, than the belief that she is beautiful"
"I think shes caught between who she is, and who she wants to be."
"You are enough. You are SO enough. Its unbelievable how enough you are"
"I'm such a fuckin' lady"
"I restore myself when I'm alone"
"How you make others feel about themselves, says alot about you."
"I make mistakes, that's what I do. I speak without thinking, I act without knowing. God knows I mean well.."
"You are amazing. Remember that"
"Take a day to heal from the lies you've told yourself...and the lies that have been told to you"
"Fuck what people think"
"Eff your beauty standards"
"Sometimes our thoughts are backed by so much insecurities, that they create lies we believe"
"No matter how hard you try, you can't keep a bad girl down"
"Maybe she laughs, maybe she cries. Maybe you\d be surprised at all the secrets she keeps inside."
"People will stare, make it worth their while."
"Sometimes you need to step outside, get some air and remind yourself of who you are and what you want to be"
"Try harder, I'm worth it"
"Be brave and fearless to know that even if you make a wrong decision, it was for a good reason."
"I meant to behave, but there were just too many other options"
"I won\t cry for you, my mascaras too expensive."
"Not caring what other people think, is the best decision you can ever make"
"Do you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be"

I am truly in love with ALL of these...and cannot simply pick just a couple...thus the reason for the long list! Hope you can relate or you enjoyed them!

Love, Laura xoxox

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Moving: Fresh start or same shit, new pile?

Good day my love!

Its been a while since I've blogged, but to be fair, this bitch has been busy!! As some of you may or may not know I have recent;y moved! I posted once or twice on Facebook I believe...BUT to save time and your curiosity...yes, I did indeed move. With my sister and my man-friend to be exact. To make a long story short, he and I already lived together but my sister was drowning in brotherly love and needed to escape their clutches....thus forming the 3 some we have now (in a totally non sexual way).

So anyways..on to my point. I\ll give you some back round information first. I lived in my old apartment for about 5 years. 3.5 of those years was spent with someone else and after that amount of time, everything you look at can and will remind you of them...all the bullshittery and awfulness that it was (ok not THAT bad..but y'know). But then trying to move on with someone new in the place you had resided with the other person can sometimes be tough. Old memories creep in from time to time, and old habits that you created with that other person seem to never matter how much you want to rid them.

Having said all that, this move has been one that was LONG over-due. You never realize how mentally/emotionally you can be attached to a place and once you are gone from it, its like a breath of clean fresh farm air! You see the mistakes of your past more clearly and this new place is a completely clean slate and basically a chance to start over again. For me, it was creating the relationship(s) that I've always wanted. Not just with my man, but with my sister too. Her and I have always been pretty close, but she is the one person who I don't think I could ever get sick of hanging out with. Some of my best times have been with her and I cannot express enough gratitude for being able to now live with her! As far as my man-friend, my old habits of "live with one-foot out the door" attitude died in that old apartment. This move made me realize how \i had been acting and how I needed to change it, in order to not repeat the mistakes of my past. (This was ALSO brought to my attention by my amazing friend, Carmelle..SHOUTOUT!!!)

So, to wrap it up...sometimes a change of address is all you need to change your life up. Leaving the mistakes of the past and old habits within the walls of that beautiful 15th floor apartment. We have only been here a few days, but I know that this is the fresh start that we ALL need.

Here's to fresh starts and new adventures...

Love, Laura xoxoxox

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Namaste Bitchachos!


It has been FAR too long since I've blogged and I have had So many things to write about. Since its the beginning of a fresh new year, I'll let you in on my 'New Years Resolution'. I have never publicly talked about this until now...mostly because I was having a hard time describing it into words; only making sense in my own head. My resolution was to start finding peace within my on.

Let me paint you a Birmingham..

I was ALWAYS the type of person who SEEMED calm on the outside, but inside I am freaking the FUCK out. I was a constant ball of anxiety and spent Far too much time planning my future, then when it wouldn't go EXACTLY as planned, I'd lose my mind. In reality, WHEN do plans ever go exactly as planned? hardly ever. That's just one example; another is that I constantly spent time predicting negative behavior from other people and when what I predicted DID transpire negatively, I'd REALLY loose my shit thinking "Of course that happened...what else."  I've also spent a lot of time thinking back on past situations (negative usually) and irritating myself and setting off my mood for the rest of the day; I spent A LOT of time doing that, as my job is pretty clients usually sleep which leaves me TOO much time to think usually.

SO, it wasn't until talking to one of my clients about all this, that it dawned on me how much of a problem this can be on my emotional and mental health. I preach about living a peaceful/ drama free life, but couldn't seem to get there myself. She said one sentence that seemed to change my whole perspective on things:

"..You have to think to yourself, if there anything hurting me in THIS moment?"
 At first I was like, well of course not. But later on, I got to really thinking about it (..after she fell asleep...) and Ive seen the quote about "if you're anxious, you're living in the future...something about past...blah" (I cannot remember it exactly) but it FINALLY made some sense to me! I spend so much time living in the future that I cannot enjoy right NOW. I'm letting things BEYOND my control bother me, I'm thinking back to old bullshit and ALLOWING it to irritate me all over again. She gave me a good example.
"when people are stuck in traffic, its rarely the traffic that is making them angry. Its the fact they have so much time to sit and think, and they thinking back to things that piss them off; old arguments/bad situations..."
This was exactly what I was doing. Long story short, its a hard habit to break but I have to work at it everyday. EVERY TIME,  start to think back to old things or predict someones negative behavior and feel anger...i simple say "Is ANYTHING hurting you right in this moment?"..100% of the time, nothing is.

This may not make sense to a lot of people, but I feel so much better these days. More peaceful and much more living in the moment, which is what life is about.

Namaste, mutha-fuckas!

Love, Laura xoxox