Monday, September 19, 2016

My decision to live a child-free life

       Oh hi..didn’t see you there. It’s been a minute since I’ve blogged..anything really! Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans..or whatever that dumb saying is. ANYWAY, this is one of the most controversial topics I think I’ve ever discussed. I’ve also not shared this with anyone except my other, sorry not sorry to my friends and family.

       Confession: I’m a 31 year old woman (this is not the confession), and I have made the decision to not have kids. *Pause for reaction*

        Last I checked, I have NO obligation nor do I owe anyone an apology for making this monumental life choice. I have been thinking about this for a long time and it wasn’t a decision easily made over night. It may come as a shock because I always seemed like I wanted kids and am that “mother type”; sadly I am not. Some might say I am selfish for making this decision, but is it selfish that I only have ONE life and can chose to live it HOW I want? Make my own decisions about things? Design my life how I want it to be? People who know me, know I live my life in a YOLO fashion and love the spontaneity that life can bring. Sorry I took off to Vancouver for the weekend with my man while you were taking your sticky child to their soccer/hockey/anime convention.

       To take a dark turn; some people know, some don’t. I have been a victim of miscarriage in the past. It was the most traumatic event of my life and changed me more than anything ever could. I am VERY compassionate and empathetic towards any woman who has gone through this and FAR too many women keep it a secret. I did for a long time and was so ashamed of my body and the fact that I couldn’t create something that I should be able to do easily. As it turns out, I have a sort of “birth defect”. My body cannot hold the weight of a fetus and tears open around 14-16 weeks; yes it was extremely painful and yes I saw everything that no person should EVER see in this life time. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of that. This, however, is not the reason I made my decision to live a child-free life, just to be clear.

       Coming to this decision was not an easy one. I guess growing up your whole life, your told that that’s just the order of things. You find a partner, get married and have kids. Simple. But why? Kids are great in small doses and don’t take this as me bashing all kids and I’m going around calling them sticky assholes all the time. They are a gift and at the end of every day, you love them so much you feel like you might die. I feel the same way about the new red lipstick I just bought from Urban Decay. Kids..Lipstick..same difference. To sum this up reader; women (and men) should be able to choose. I choose to design my life as I see fit; you choose to fill your life with love and a guarantee that you will never be alone. People will say “oh you’ll change your mind” or “what if you regret it?” or “Oh but you’d make SUCH a great mom”…I’d also make a great serial killer but no one talks about that because it’s scary and shocking. Much like having a child. I am choosing this life because it is MINE. Regrets? Maybe.

..but I’ll take my chances.

Love, Laura xoxo