Friday, August 29, 2014

Done with great love; I'm back to great lovers.

Hello my loves!

It has been FAR too long since I’ve blogged anything. And to be honest, I am writing this at work. Hay, its long weekend Friday…I have no use for work…or pants for that matter, yet here we are. ANYWAYS, the reason for the season AKA the blog. I have been taking a break from the blogging to do some “vlogging” since it’s much easier to walk around and just talk. BUT, I didn’t want to just sit in front of the camera and talk about this crap, since that would be too long and my OWN boredom would’ve kicked it..

Single Life. Honestly…I never thought I’d be in this situation at this moment. To tell you the truth; I’ve NEVER been happier. I haven’t been single for close to 10 years, believe it or not. I kind of went from one relationship to the next, but yet I do not regret any of it. I learned a lot of who I was and what I REALLY wanted out of my life..and from a significant other. MORE so, they taught me about what I DON’T want. I would’ve never sit here and bad mouth, because that’s not my style and I was with them for my own reasons. At the end of the day, I am glad it happened, BUT, ask me about it on a different day and I might have a different answer. While most people don’t understand, this last one took a lot out of me. I put way more of myself into it than was deserved, and was left empty handed. I saw this quote on Pinterest and it couldn’t have been MORE true (I also posted it on Instagram!):

“I could feel my insides sink. My knees too. So I sat on the ground, against the wall, letting it support me. I thought I knew what heartbreak felt like. I thought heartbreak was me, eating by myself at a famous cafĂ© in the city. That was nothing. This, this was heartbreak. The pain in your chest, the ache behind your eyes. The knowing that things will never be the same again. It’s all relative, I suppose. You think you know Love, you think you know real pain, but you don’t. You don’t know anything.”

Enough about that. The reason for this blog, was my current dating experiences. I would never name, names or call anyone out. But I assure you…it has been interesting. I still feel strange going out on dates…or even getting hit on! Sometimes it dawns on me at weird times, like “damn, I CAN smile at that cute stranger in the Tim Horton’s line..”. I have met a few true “gems” and some real “5 stage clingers”, but I have met a select few I choose to keep around. I find myself being REALLY picky. I have high standards, and honestly…if ya don’t measure up, chances are you won’t be hearing from me again. Without names, I have sat across from someone on a dinner date (WORST DATES EVER) and been completely disgusted with them (I have a good poker face). I’ve also just hung out watching a movie and had an awesome time.

At this point in time, I really have no interest in going into a full on relationship with anyone. I am really enjoying the dating game and getting to know different people. Some people I meet are tired of the chase and tired of dating, and I’m sure I’ll get to that point someday. But that day is nottoday. I enjoy the idea of not being defined by another person and am free to live my life how I choose…and dammit, I feel happy that I only have to think about myself FOR ONCE. I feel more myself now, than I have in a long time. It’s so refreshing to know I can make plans without the concern for another person. I enjoy my solitude so much as well;“My alone feels so good, that I’ll only be with you if you are sweeter than my solitude”.

On a final note, my beautiful friend; I am happy. Happy being free, and it’s going to take someone amazing to change that. Here’s to having standards higher than our heels!!

Love, Laura xoxox