"And I quote.."

Hi Helloooo!

As a change from my usual rant and/or rave, I have compiled a list of "quotes" that I have chosen to live my life by. They pertain to all aspects of my life from Love/heartbreak to death/dying. This is kind of a "..what I have learnt so far.." type of quote list. So without further a due...here goes..!

Love/Heartache

"Be all in, or get all out. There is no half way."
"After a while, you just want to be with the one who makes you laugh"
"How long they chose to love you, will never be your decision"
"Have the courage to trust love, one more time"
"I cannot decide if meeting you was the saddest or greatest day of my life, because my heart is split into two pieces made up of love and hatred..and both sides hold your name."
"Mind in one place, heart in another"
"I hope you never find the words to describe love, I hope you never ruin what cannot be explained; trying to understand it."
"Having perfected our disguise, we spend our lives searching for someone we don't fool."
"Just because someone someone doesn't love you the way you want them too, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have"
"I have named you Queen. There are taller than you, taller. There are purer than you, purer. There are lovelier than you, Lovelier. But you are the Queen."
"If you must die sweetheart, please die knowing that your life, was my life's best part"
"No reason to stay, is a good reason to go"
"..and that's when I realized you're not that fucking great"
"I remember when I first realized I Loved you. I found you in a crowded bar, before anyone else. You were wearing a collard shirt. I tried not to run to you. I touched you; you smelled good. I loved you"
"A man has 2 options in a relationship: Either stand up and be the man she needs, or sit down so she can see the one behind you"


Life

"365 new days; 365 new chances"
"We ALL have something within us that this world needs"
"Don't put your happiness in someone Else's hands; they'll drop it. They'll drop it every time."
"People TOO often forget that its your choice how you want to spend the rest of your life"
"When it is all finished, you will discover that it was never random"
"If you ask the right questions, you will discover how truly fascinating people are"
"Everything is all in your head; stop worrying"
"STOP keeping track of the mistakes you've made, its time to forgive yourself"
"Everyone is fighting their own battles, try not to be a cunt"
"When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember...you haven't."
|Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment, are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment.  There is hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving in your own evolution"
"Be gentle with yourself today, your doing the best you can."
"Stop over analyzing"
"They want to see you do good, but never better than them. Remember that."
"Nobody has a god damn clue whats going on anytime, anyplace, anywhere. We're all just winging it...some people just look more confident than others"
"Listen,smile and agree. Then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyways"
"Life is so damn short, just do whatever the fuck makes you happy."
"Sometimes what your most afraid of doing, is the one thing that will set you free."
I'm letting go..so I can be free"
"Your past is just a story, and once you realize that, it has no power over you."
"Let go of the past and the past will let go of you"

Beauty/Self-confidence

"Nothing makes a woman more beautiful, than the belief that she is beautiful"
"I think shes caught between who she is, and who she wants to be."
"You are enough. You are SO enough. Its unbelievable how enough you are"
"I'm such a fuckin' lady"
"I restore myself when I'm alone"
"How you make others feel about themselves, says alot about you."
"I make mistakes, that's what I do. I speak without thinking, I act without knowing. God knows I mean well.."
"You are amazing. Remember that"
"Take a day to heal from the lies you've told yourself...and the lies that have been told to you"
"Fuck what people think"
"Eff your beauty standards"
"Sometimes our thoughts are backed by so much insecurities, that they create lies we believe"
"No matter how hard you try, you can't keep a bad girl down"
"Maybe she laughs, maybe she cries. Maybe you\d be surprised at all the secrets she keeps inside."
"People will stare, make it worth their while."
"Sometimes you need to step outside, get some air and remind yourself of who you are and what you want to be"
"Try harder, I'm worth it"
"Be brave and fearless to know that even if you make a wrong decision, it was for a good reason."
"I meant to behave, but there were just too many other options"
"I won\t cry for you, my mascaras too expensive."
"Not caring what other people think, is the best decision you can ever make"
"Do you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be"


I am truly in love with ALL of these...and cannot simply pick just a couple...thus the reason for the long list! Hope you can relate or you enjoyed them!

Love, Laura xoxox

Moving: Fresh start or same shit, new pile?

Good day my love!

Its been a while since I've blogged, but to be fair, this bitch has been busy!! As some of you may or may not know I have recent;y moved! I posted once or twice on Facebook I believe...BUT to save time and your curiosity...yes, I did indeed move. With my sister and my man-friend to be exact. To make a long story short, he and I already lived together but my sister was drowning in brotherly love and needed to escape their clutches....thus forming the 3 some we have now (in a totally non sexual way).

So anyways..on to my point. I\ll give you some back round information first. I lived in my old apartment for about 5 years. 3.5 of those years was spent with someone else and after that amount of time, everything you look at can and will remind you of them...all the bullshittery and awfulness that it was (ok not THAT bad..but y'know). But then trying to move on with someone new in the place you had resided with the other person can sometimes be tough. Old memories creep in from time to time, and old habits that you created with that other person seem to never die..no matter how much you want to rid them.

Having said all that, this move has been one that was LONG over-due. You never realize how mentally/emotionally you can be attached to a place and once you are gone from it, its like a breath of clean fresh farm air! You see the mistakes of your past more clearly and this new place is a completely clean slate and basically a chance to start over again. For me, it was creating the relationship(s) that I've always wanted. Not just with my man, but with my sister too. Her and I have always been pretty close, but she is the one person who I don't think I could ever get sick of hanging out with. Some of my best times have been with her and I cannot express enough gratitude for being able to now live with her! As far as my man-friend, my old habits of "live with one-foot out the door" attitude died in that old apartment. This move made me realize how \i had been acting and how I needed to change it, in order to not repeat the mistakes of my past. (This was ALSO brought to my attention by my amazing friend, Carmelle..SHOUTOUT!!!)

So, to wrap it up...sometimes a change of address is all you need to change your life up. Leaving the mistakes of the past and old habits within the walls of that beautiful 15th floor apartment. We have only been here a few days, but I know that this is the fresh start that we ALL need.

Here's to fresh starts and new adventures...

Love, Laura xoxoxox

Namaste Bitchachos!

 Hi!!

It has been FAR too long since I've blogged and I have had So many things to write about. Since its the beginning of a fresh new year, I'll let you in on my 'New Years Resolution'. I have never publicly talked about this until now...mostly because I was having a hard time describing it into words; only making sense in my own head. My resolution was to start finding peace within my self...read on.

Let me paint you a Birmingham..

I was ALWAYS the type of person who SEEMED calm on the outside, but inside I am freaking the FUCK out. I was a constant ball of anxiety and spent Far too much time planning my future, then when it wouldn't go EXACTLY as planned, I'd lose my mind. In reality, WHEN do plans ever go exactly as planned? hardly ever. That's just one example; another is that I constantly spent time predicting negative behavior from other people and when what I predicted DID transpire negatively, I'd REALLY loose my shit thinking "Of course that happened...what else."  I've also spent a lot of time thinking back on past situations (negative usually) and irritating myself and setting off my mood for the rest of the day; I spent A LOT of time doing that, as my job is pretty chill...my clients usually sleep which leaves me TOO much time to think usually.

SO, it wasn't until talking to one of my clients about all this, that it dawned on me how much of a problem this can be on my emotional and mental health. I preach about living a peaceful/ drama free life, but couldn't seem to get there myself. She said one sentence that seemed to change my whole perspective on things:

"..You have to think to yourself, if there anything hurting me in THIS moment?"

 At first I was like, well of course not. But later on, I got to really thinking about it (..after she fell asleep...) and Ive seen the quote about "if you're anxious, you're living in the future...something about past...blah" (I cannot remember it exactly) but it FINALLY made some sense to me! I spend so much time living in the future that I cannot enjoy right NOW. I'm letting things BEYOND my control bother me, I'm thinking back to old bullshit and ALLOWING it to irritate me all over again. She gave me a good example.

"when people are stuck in traffic, its rarely the traffic that is making them angry. Its the fact they have so much time to sit and think, and they thinking back to things that piss them off; old arguments/bad situations..."

This was exactly what I was doing. Long story short, its a hard habit to break but I have to work at it everyday. EVERY TIME,  start to think back to old things or predict someones negative behavior and feel anger...i simple say "Is ANYTHING hurting you right in this moment?"..100% of the time, nothing is.

This may not make sense to a lot of people, but I feel so much better these days. More peaceful and much more living in the moment, which is what life is about.

Namaste, mutha-fuckas!

Love, Laura xoxox

Who are you to Criticize anyway?

    "Dedicated to anyone who wonders if I'm writing about them...I am."

     Hello reader. Oh, was my introduction a little "formal" for you? A little "cold shoulder"? Good. My topic is a little cold tonight and perhaps it'll make you uncomfortable. .and maybe cry..fantastic. Grab a tissue and put your damn purse down, it's time to end this tea party.

    Judgments..criticism; is my topic today. Why the HELL are we all so judgmental of each other. .hell, why are we so judgmental of judgments? This whole crazy thought train came about when I first started to dye me hair "crazy" colors. The train then derailed after I just recently dyed it (for the last time) back to a dark-half-human color. Seeing comments like "so much better than that bright red.." or "that green hair HAD to go..". Comments such as those truly make me want to say.."Thanks for the feedback I could really care less about, and you may go fuck yourself on the way out, good sir.." Sounds harsh, but honestly, if you've known me for a good portion of my life, you'd know I don't do anything to PLEASE anyone..and I'll dye my hair, wear fake eyelashes, pierce my face in any way I choose.

    This also goes WAY BACK. I'VE gotten criticism my whole life for how I CHOOSE to look. "Oh you're so beautiful but that hair needs to go..".."why would pierce that beautiful face".."you're so beautiful BUT you should loose weight".etc. what's with all the "You're so beautiful BUT..". I'm quite sure I'm not alone in this, but when you start a compliment with you're beautiful BUT, IT IMMEDIATELY looses all sincerity.

    With that all being said, I'm no angel. My past is filled with jealous judgments and criticism. But, if you were to know me NOW, you'd know I DO NOT judge anyone, EVER. Scouts honor. These days, you're judged if your fat, skinny, bald, too much hair, clothes..and the list goes on. It's fine to be ANY of those things. If you want to be the nicest person earth, you go girl. You want to be hate-filled..you get your hate on (good luck with your life without a soul. .Ok I judged haha). You want to be big. .great! You want to be skeletor..fine! You enjoy being someplace in the middle..fucking celebrate!!!
   
    At the end of the damn day..who really gives a hoot?!! I know I don't. We should probably all stop hating on each other(unless your into that.like I said). Life is so GOD DAMN short, do/wear/feel whatever the fuck you want to do..let ya freak flag fly. And in case you need a break from our criticizing society. .let's grab a drink so I can tell you exactly this: who gives a shot about anyone thinks? When you're on your death bed your sure as hell not going to be thinking "god I wish I cared more about what people thought", NO, your going to thank your god that you did whatever was best for YOU. Take care, freaks.

Love, Laura xoxo

Ps: Deal with all the swearing..but this is a passionate subject..sorry, I'm not sorry!

I kept it light, so why am in the dark?

Good evening!

Why is it that I always get my zest for blogging, late at night? Well..I guess its only 9:30pm...not THAT Late! ANYWAYS, that's neither here nor there...my topic! I was inspired to write about a few friends "dating" experiences..trials, tribulations...losers...douchebags, etc. So my question is, (you can thank Carrie Bradshaw for this..) "When we try to keep it light, why do we always end up in the Dark?"

Basically this means, in terms of dating, you try to keep things casual/see where it'll go and not read into anything...you somehow always land in murky water.  By this I mean, after all the skinned knees and broken hearts, you go into the next one with that typical attitude "I'm not taking anything too seriously" or "lets just see what happens". BUT at the end of the day your 30 years young, after all, and are looking for real love!

Dating is so awkward..I feel that Vince Vaughn said it best via 'Wedding Crashers':

I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair.

 I really cannot sum it up any better than that (I seriously LOL'd as I was reading that..).  The point is, date after date..the more serious it gets or the more you see that person, the more questions you have. Is there a future? Do they see a future? Am I crazy pants for even thinking that, this early in the game? I am getting on in my years, so maybe I should broach the subject?? Ah the newness of a relationship is bitter sweet. You meet someone new, and its fun, harmless puppy-love. You both get to start with a fresh new slate. The bitter taste comes with all the questions.

In some cases your questions are quickly answered when said dater, turns into a complete crazy or a douchbag. In the experience of some friends, there is NO time to waste so they STRAIGHT up ask if this person is interested in doing the "Boyfriend/Girlfriend" thing, which I'll admit is risky (even as I am egging them on to do it...YOLO) but it also clears the air of any questions or confusion OR misread signs your being given...or imagining. An inconvenient truth is what that is. Sure you have a little bit of awkwardness after, but I say "shoot em all and let god sort em' out". Although that doesn't really pertain to this situation, but what I mean is...might as well find out now, rather than torturing yourself with the "is he interested", "is she going to let me sleep with her tonight?", etc.

I guess the reason why we always wind up in the dark, is because there is always one party who wants more than the other..in some cases. So you say to yourself, OK, this time I'm just going to see where it is and not fall in love after the first date. But old habits die hard I suppose and there you are !BOOM!, lights out! Now you can't see and you have bumped your shin on the the coffee table..perfect.  To wrap it up reader, Do what you gotta do..dating sucks...that why people get married; to end that horrifying awkward line-dancing tradition.

Love, Laura xoxox

Warning: This one is sensitive little bitch!

Oh..hello! My title really has nothing to do with reading this blog entry, but more with the topic of it. Question: If we were all forced to wear warning labels, what would YOURS say? Obviously it is something unfortunately negative in your personality or perhaps a glitch..shall we say. I came across the above picture on my daily 'Pinterest' procrastinating and saw that..and it REALLY made me think. It also made me think about how much time it would save us all. I mean, if you were talking to someone and saw their label said "obsessive" or "Phone-call-stalker"..pretty sure you would immediately look the other way. BUT since we don't, we are forced to ACTUALLY get to know people, and their crazy-pants dark underground garage, which they utilize to store bodies of ex boyfriends who wouldn't return their call(s) after the first date.

ANYWAYS, that's neither here nor there and I certainly hope you never have to face anyone like that!  Back onto the topic at hand; what would YOUR label say? Mine, would most likely say Overly-Sensitive. Now, I know what you're thinking...really? but yes, unfortunately...I am. I hide it behind a thick layer of pride and egotistical arrogance.  It really is more of a curse than a blessing, although, with being this sensitive, I am able to be more compassionate towards others and really try to put myself in their shoes.  I know I put up quite an arrogant front and might seem that I don't care when I give you brutally honest advice, but I ALWAYS try to put myself in other peoples shoes before I pass judgment or an opinion.  Anyways, my sensitivity. Anything mean, or even jokingly sarcastic anyone says to me, (even if its about something ridiculous I've posted on facebook) is ALWAYS taken too seriously. And yet, no one would know this. I manage to over-think everything ALL the time, and maybe that is my Leo glitches surfacing...we'll just cram those down with some loud, arrogant boasting about how got damn amazing I am (seriously, I'm kidding..).

In any case, this over-sensitivity consumes me sometimes. So much that I start getting on my own damn nerves. I'll find myself saying' Jesus, Laura..toughen up!" or "put your damn purse down and end this tea party.." which is code for, stop taking EVERYTHING so seriously..and stop over thinking it all! I Suppose things could be worse; my label COULD be something like:

• Warning: She WILL go through your shit when your in the bathroom..
• Warning: She has a severe drinking disorder
• Warning: She will call your new girlfriend during the night, in hopes to get back together with you..
• Warning: She WILL cut your hair off, in hopes to always have something to remember you by..
• Warning: She MAY form an obsessive attachment with your man-parts..
• Warning: She WILL force you to watch only girly movies
• Warning: She is a plain o'l Bitch..
• Warning: She IS a stalker

and so forth....

So, when you read those, mine or even yours doesn't seem SO bad. That's all I have time for tonight...but do tell...What would YOUR warning label say?

Love, Laura xoxox

Random Thursday: Question/answer period!

Hello!! To switch up my usual rant/rave garbage, I decided to seek out the most RANDOM group of questions, and answer them..100% honestly! Seriously..there is no rhyme or reason for these questions, they are all over the map...enjoy!

Questions: What are your biggest 'pet peeves"?
Answer: Lateness and mispronunciation

Question: What is your biggest fear?
Answer: Death/Dying

Question: What was your first thought when you met your spouse?
Answer: FINALLY!!! (its a long story..haha)

Question: If money and/or jobs were no issue, where would you live?
Answer: New York or Paris

Question: What were you doing this day, 10 years ago?
Answer: I was just moving into the city, getting ready to go to Beauty School.

Question: Have you ever read a book that change your view point on something?
Answer: Yes, "He's Just NOT That Into You". Every woman NEEDS to read this book.

Question: What would you change about your spouse?
Answer: I'd change his view-point on himself, and give him the ability to see himself through my eyes.

Question; If your teenage daughter came to you and told her she was pregnant, what would you say?
Answer: "Is it April? Its April fools isn't it?". Haha, kidding. I'd discuss options and warn her about how hard raising a baby will be and go from there..

Question: How do you deal with disappointment?
Answer: I ALWAYS try to find a positive in it...and if I cannot change it, I learn and move on.

Question: Do you want children? If so, when?
Answer: Yes. Very soon..before 30-32.

Question: Whats your ideal wedding?
Answer: Private beach (NO resort wedding!), just him and I, our immediate family only.

Question: Whats the last thing you said out-loud?
Answer: "Not even gonna give me some sugar??" (Man-friend was leaving the house without a kiss!)

Question: What song would you use to describe your relationship?
Answer: "Love Song" by The Cure

Question: Is there a pick-up line that MAY work on you?
Answer: "Did you hear that noise? That's the sounds of your underwear flying across my room". Its awful, but would make me laugh SO hard, I'd have to at least TALK to that person..haha.

Question: What does the world need?
Answer: A drink...seriously.

Question: What are 3 things people should know about you?
Answer: 1) I'm very patient 2) If I am very quiet, I have too many things on my mind. 3) I seem shy and sweet when you first meet me...but am actually quite loud and arrogant.

Question: Are you a romantic?
Answer: Its sickening how romantic I am...I want roses, love letters and surprise dinners! (Not all at once..haha)

Question: What type of person annoys you?
Answer: Mean-hearted people and People who complain about their life, yet do NOTHING to change it. The past is THE PAST...nothing changes, if nothing changes.

Weeellllll I think that's enough questions for one night. I got these all from a bunch of different websites and just closed my eyes and picked at random.  This really was a RANDOM Thursday night blog...

Love, Laura xoxox