"Without music, life would be a Mistake"

Aloha! I thought I'd change up my usual "Good day!" in hopes that you now picture yourself on a beach...perfect. Getting right into the heart of the matter, like the title says...life would be a mistake. I got thinking today on my trip home, almost EVERY moment of my life has been surrounded by music. There are very few "silent" moments. I always need to be listening to it one way or another.  I am a music fanatic and I really feel there is an appropriate song, for every moment in life.  If you have the app 'Songza", then you know what i am talking about. You can literally put on music for ANY mood you are in. Seriously, whether its "Breaking up" or "making love", there is a topic on that App for ANYTHING! (..even vacuuming!)

So I thought I'd collaborate a list of 10 songs I will listen to for the rest of my life (..and not get sick of!) and for the hell of it, I'll explain WHY these songs mean so much to me.

1) Lifehouse - "Everything" This song has gotten me through some crappy relationship times. Its a great sloooow song and can make you smile, and in MANY cases, cry your eyes out if needed..depending what mood you're in when you hear it.

2) Usher - "Numb"  THIS song has gotten me through SO many things! I won't get into detail, but sometimes as he says in the song, you just need to go numb and forget about everything and do what you gotta do for YOU!

3) Miranda Lambert - "The house that built me  This song will always remind me of where I came from, and how sometimes a big city can change you. You get lost and sometimes forget who you once used to be.

4) Adele - "Love song" This is a cover she did by "The Cure" and every time I hear it it brings me back to the FIRST time I heard it, and it was with someone who I care about, an immense amount (..you might even say..Love, but that'll be our secret!) and, without going into detail, its very personal and the lyrics are perfect.

5) Limp Bizkit - "Break Stuff" I know this isn't a typical "emotional" song, but ever since I discovered this band, I have rocked out to this song whenever I'm having a BAD day.

6) Tone Loc - "Funky Cold Medina" I know what you're thinking.."um..what?". But THIS song will forever remind me of my dad! Every time he drives me home on (most) Sundays, we ALWAYS listen to this song and he does this strange impression of the "night at the Roxbury" head bob. I'm seriously laughing while writing this...ha ha.

7)Kelly Clarkson - "Maybe" The lyrics "I don't want to be tough..And I don't want to be proud. I don't need to be fixed and I certainly don't need to be found, I'm not lost..I need to be loved" describe me to a "T". This whole song does actually.

8) Kenny Chesney - "Young" This was my high school grad song, and every time I hear it, it takes me right back to those moments.

9) Staind - "So far away" Really anything by staind will be played until my last god given breath. But this song reminds me of when I finally got my shit together in life, but yet still is relatable to now.

10) Backstreet Boys - "All I have to Give" With my never ending love for these 5 beauties, I had to put at least ONE song by them in, and this one has always been my favorite. It takes me back to good ol' Grade.8 and the posters, CD's, video tapes...memorizing EVERY dance move and lyrics...ah to be young again.

Ah well, that's the list. There are a million songs that I will forever listen to, but these will always be some of me all time favorites of all time!  Please feel free to let me know some of your favorites...perhaps they will become one of mine!

Love, Laura xoxox

                                  "Music is my religion" - Jimi Hendrix

I heard your a player? nice to meet you, I'm the COACH!

      
      Good (insert time of day while reading this..)my curious reader. I bet the title of this blog had you just itching to read! Well, its a little more personal and deep than my usual rants...but its been on my mind lately and as you know..I write about what i know.

       I know a little TOO much about the ol' art of infidelity. As MOST of you reading this know me personally, you know little to none of the "inner-workings" of my mind. This is a sensitive topic, as I know it'll offend some people or even make some people hate me, but as per-usual, i live my life in a YOLO fashion...so here goes...

      Any close friends I've ever had, have heard some CRAZY stories from me in terms of men/dating/relationships. They've even witnessed my crimes of passion and like good friends, keep it on the DL just saying 'Oh Laura..!" which has just become the norm. and no longer are they shocked by my shenanigans. I am ashamed to admit, I've hurt more than my fair share of people and know how to play the game. I never wanted a "serious" relationship in my younger days, and when it finally came knocking at my door..i thought "what the hell..", which always seems like the right answer. And for a while it was. BUT (prepare for hateful judgment in 3..2..1..) I was faithful-ISH in my 7+ year relationship. I was young..and bored and that is a dangerous game. And I played that game on more than one occasion, which FEW people know about, but here it is folks...I fooled around...on MORE than a couple occasions. 

     Now that that's out in the open, I can take you deeper into the mind of a cheater.  I'm not sure WHY i did (or repeatedly did it..). i think it was for the rush. The newness and the fact that, although in a committed relationship, I still had "it".  I know lots of people ask, well don't you feel guilty? Well, of course. But never in that moment. And not enough to ever say anything...perhaps I missed that gene. It wasn't an easy task. Lies are exhausting and you have to constantly remember everything said/did/where you were, etc. In case you were ever caught in a lie...unfortunately for me, the person I was with was too damn trusting (THAT'S when the guilt kicks in..thinking about that).  So why not break it off? (another EXCELLENT question) Because i still loved him. But personally speaking, I have the sex drive of female cat in heat (sorry ma'!) and if I ain't getting it at home, I shall peruse other resources...and when you got all THIS going on, there was NO shortage of those resources. (That's last part was a joke...seriously I DO NOT think I'm all THAT ha ha)

     For those who are not in tune to my blogging, The reason him and I broke-up was (you guessed it) my dirty cheating ways.  After we ended things, I had a lot of time to think about what I had done and all the past bull shit I've done. First off, BAD love karma and second, what the HELL is my problem?? Instead of thinking the grass is greener on the other side, why can't I just water my own grass?? If I had a friends sitting across from me, telling me all THESE things they've done, I'd ask them, why not just be single? Or maybe you did love him/them, and loved the idea of having someone to come home to, but wanted a little fun on the side?  Bottom line, reader: I'm not the amazing person some people think I am. I hurt people because I don't want anyone too close to me or to hurt me..so I always need to be the one to get the first hit in.

     Now I'm sure you're wondering, well what about this new relationship? Once cheater, always a cheater? I've spent the last couple weeks contemplating all those old cliches and I do think its possible for people to change. Its figuring out what you REALLY want, and sticking with it. I have decided what I want, once and for all, and although not deserving of it..I just want to be happy and in a COMMITTED, loving relationship. No more games..no more chasing. I'm tired of the chase..its a lonely life and it just reiterates the disrespect for yourself. After all.." Cheating is a choice, not a mistake.."

"..I know I've been mistaken, but just give me a break and see the changes I've made.  I've got some imperfections, but how can you collect them all and throw them in my face"  -Staind Lyrics.

some things to ponder about..

Love, Laura xoxox

Passions..on top of Passion?

Good day...I said GOOD DAY!

Its been quite some time since I've blogged, eh? (Canadian EH!?) But I figured I'd get you all up to speed on my life, and new lifestyle choices.  I'll give you a bit of a back round story first: In January of this year, I toyed with the idea of going back to old career choice, Esthetics. I figured, new year, new job..? I played back and forth with the idea and every time I decided to bring it up to someone, they were ALL for it. But there is ALWAYS someone who lives life in the cautious lane (my loving mother) and always warned me against it; saying.. "I don't know Pie, you have such a good job, benefits..etc." or "DO you really think that's a good idea?" an so forth. SO, I never made the move, constantly hearing her voice in the back of my mind like a tiny mosquito in your ear.

WELL, a month ago, I saw this quote on Pinterest.. "Making a BIG life change is pretty scary, but you know whats even scarier?..Regret". SO, I squashed that mosquito and decided to start on my search. I did not tell anyone (seriously..NO ONE.) about my life change, as I am a very influential person, in the fact that, if someone said "not a good idea.." (as in my past..) I'd shy away from the change and continue living my daily life.  SO, all opinions to the side, I came across an "Eye Lash Technician" job ad and decided to apply! She called me that day, and I went for the interview that same evening. I went back the next day to practice on a mannequin (to really make sure I knew what was involved) and I impressed her with my dazzling skills (and amazing personality..HA) and she said "well, the job is yours if you're interested". To which I said "absolutely!" and gave my notice the next day.

If you're wondering, yes I did cry when giving my notice. I had worked at my old job for 3+ years; had my own office and had people answer to me. I worked with the most amazing group of people, but at the end of the day I knew my heart just wasn't in it anymore AND it was not where my passion lived.  My passion my beautiful reader lies within the beauty industry. Its not necessarily lashes, but that's part of it. I WILL open my own spa and I figured this was a skill that would be AMAZING to offer my clients. SO I took a pay cut (for now..) and went forth with it; thinking of my future.

The BIGGEST point I'm making is that life is short, we must do what we love.  You need to find out what you really want out of this life and what FEELS right, and go forth with it. You need to block out all the "nay-Sayers" and do what you need to do. Someone people stand in your way, because they are to scared to dream BIG. Well this lady, is NOT one of those people. You could come up to me tomorrow and say "Hay! I'm going to become a clown and join the circus" and my exact phrase would be "Uhhh OK..random...but live your dreams circus man, live your dreams!!".  The best way to figure out your passion, If you won the lottery/unlimited life funds, what would you do? Well, first I'd pay of all debts..travel..buy a home, etc. But after ALL that, I'd STILL open up a spa because as they say "IF you love your job, you'll never work another day in your life..".

Figure out what your passion is and let it ignite you..Just a little tip from me to you.

Love, Laura xoxox

My Drunk Blog..(short and sweet..)

So I'm into the vodka..sitting in bed, other half is having a chit-chat with an old friend, and it's about 8:30..give er' take..

I decide to blog..about what you might ask? I have no idea..the bitch writing this is drunk. But seriously though, I do have an idea for this blog..lets see if I find it along the way. But first a sip from my secret lover...mmm OK where was I..OH! I found it! My idea was about walls..and why we put them up. Anyone who has had the enormous pleasure of getting to REALLY know me, knows I have a huge heart. In extremely sensitive, caring, romantic, over-thinker and constantly have a million things on my mind. But on the outside, (and to people are not close to me..yet..) I seem cold, thoughtless and I come across as very aggressive and arrogant. My arrogance has always been my best defense mechanism..that, and sarcasm. I've used it too keep people as a safe distance..for fear of them getting to know me, and hating me. THAT, is a truth I've never said out loud (or you've read.. In your mind).

Having said all that, WHY, my reader, do we put there walls up? To see who cares enough to knock them down? To never feel vulnerable? There is SO many beautiful things that we hide away out of fear..but it's the beautiful things that make us who we are..and the reason why people love us SO much. Why can't we let them in? For me..I fear judgment and rejection. I like to feel like I always have the upper hand and am one tough bitch (which I am), but sometimes I get tired of that. Sometimes I just want to take that mask off and be real. Cry, show my battle scars, and not worry about one.damn.thing.

Ah well, that's enough vodka-talk for one night. On the flip side, you ever want to REALLY get to know me? Drink with me, and I promise to tell you EVERYTHING...just ask my co-workers. Screaming "sometimes you just want to fuck, you know what I mean?" While your drinking with them, can and WILL follow you through the rest of your career...(I was in the midst of a break up, OK? and drinking straight vodka..) keep that in mind and learn from your pal, Laura.

 

Love, laura xoxox

 

When is compromise...compromising?

Good evening my reader!

Its seriously been a while since I've blogged ANYTHING, but I've been a busy mamacita! Anyways, getting right into it, when does the art of compromise, become compromising?

I've been really thinking about this lately. When we begin new relationships, there is always a little give and take. No one is perfect, although both parties SEEM to be in the honeymoon stage, until BAM! 3-4 months in...you both reveal your true selves.  Now I'm not speaking from experience here (or maybe I am...you shall never know..) but after the 'glitz and glamour' of the new relationship fades away like Paris Hilton's singing career..things take an..interesting turn.

I call this little "turn-pike" GROWING PAINS. Anyone who has moved in with someone knows what I am talking about. Lovey and dovey it begins..both SO happy to be living with each other, wake-up together, cuddle while the sun is going down..frequent sexy-time (sorry ma'). Then all of a sudden BOOM! Huge explosive mess of each others personalities finally show! Imagine throwing 2 buckets of paint at a wall- that's the mess I am talking about. One reveals their love of down-time, relaxation, early bed-time during the week. And the other reveals their true love of staying out at all hours, noise-complaint inducing music, and partying like the rock-star they truly are!  Now, its NOT like either party "hide" these parts...they just kept them in a dark corner, like a caged animal ready to be freed from the chains.

So, you begin to compromise with each others lives. OK we relax a bit for you tonight, and I'll go out and party-hearty the next night..and maybe the next night..deal? OK! Meanwhile, the "relaxer" isn't necessarily happy with all these decisions. BUT at the same time, neither is the rock star (what the HELL is relaxation????!! she will say..or he..HA!) At this point, it can become compromising. Doing things JUST to appease the other person, making deals, bribes, promises you don't intend to keep...which in turn leaves someone unhappy and eventually leading to a life of resentment..possibly HATE.  I believe the art of compromise can become compromising, when your just doing everything to appease the other person. You should never say yes to someone, while saying no to yourself. Stand your ground, grow a set and let the other person know when they're ass is PUSHING it..

Every relationship is different. When you move on from a past one, into a new one, you can never expect it to be the same...you're not with the same person anymore, correct? Being a true Leo, I have a VERY hard-time compromising. I feel it should be MY way or NO way...but as the days go on, I am learning compromise is not a negative thing. Its letting both parties get a little of what each other wants, and allows you to both move on and come to a decision.  I can promise you (if you are going through these growing pains..) it gets better. you move past the 3-4 month itch, and things just get easier. You get into a better routine and finally start to relax a little...this goes for BOTH people. And trust me when I say, it helps to have those growing pains. You learn different things about each other, since after all, if things were PERFECT all the time..frankly, I'd be worried...as I am not a step-ford wife (FAR from).

Love, Laura
xoxox

Breathe..and reboot..

Good Evening my amazing reader!

I figured since its been a while since I posted something, I should get on it. I've been back and forth lately; toying with different blog ideas and have finally come up with one.  I took a trip back home today (for Easter with the fandamily..) and its truly amazing how a single trip back home can really ground you again...

Life is funny and strange sometimes and can throw a true bag of shit, warranted or not. In the last week, I've been thrown a LARGE bag of this natural compost! All details aside, it was amazing how this short day trip really brought my mind back down to earth and gave me a clear head. I'm not sure whether its the clean country air, or the fact that its so amazingly silent and you can actually HEAR your own thoughts, as opposed to fire trucks. 

It has been at least 10 years since I walked around that little town, and it was just the same as I left it. We took a walk to my old junior-high/high school and it was as if nothing had changed. It was a humbling experience and reminded me of the young, innocent girl I used to be. The girl with BIG dreams; who couldn't wait to get the HELL out of that place. Now sometimes, all I want is that life back..

Being back there truly made me remember the person I once was. In the words of Miranda Lambert "Out here, its like I'm someone else, I thought that maybe I could find myself..". Truer words have never been spoken...plus I love that song..ha! In conclusion my friend, sometimes it takes a step back in time to remember what you truly want out of this life and who you once were; don't let the harshness of a big city/different town take away that once, innocent, young smile with a head full of BIG dreams.

Love, Laura xoxo

February wrap-up/March to-do..

Hello you!

 

To Wrap up this YOGA FEBRUARY, I thought I’d let you know how it went! (PS: YES, I am aware that it is the 4^th of March…I am a tad behind, deal with it.)  Since January was a complete BUST, I was determined to make this one GREAT..And guess what? IT WAS!!!!  I bought an unlimited pass at “Still Point Yoga Studio” on Jasper and 112st, which (for NEW students) is ONLY $40!

 Seeing as my Yoga practice was short lived in the past and all I’ve ever really known was HOT yoga, this was a delightful change. The room is heated, but it’s more “toasty” than a typical “sweat-your-bag-off” class I used to take at Moksha Studio.  Yin Yoga has been BY FAR the best class. It’s SO relaxing and I love holding the GOOOOOOOD stretch for longer…and it truly is “moving mediation”. After every class you leave….happy. And stress-free…it's amazing.

 Ah well, just thought I’d get you up to speed on that AND inform you what MARCH will be (a 2-in-one blog..Believe it!!!!!). I have decided to deem this month as “Picture-a-day March”. So I will be instagraming like it’s going out of style. The pictures will range from a cute puppy I saw, to a random stranger I thought looked interesting…(and NO they won't be ALL of me...even though I know you LOVE seeing my beautiful face..)*creeper!*. I will be posting them to my Facebook and perhaps at the end of the month do a run-through in a month-end blog….we’ll see how much gusto I have by then….

 Here’s some from the first 4 days of March:

MARCH.1st
This is my "sad face"..I sent it to my man-friend via text to make him feel bad...for reasons I cannot explain haha.



MARCH 2nd
Lookin' fresh faced after a relaxing facial with my mumsie!!

MARCH 3RD
I came across this on Pineterest and it made me LOL for REAL!

MARCH 4TH
Ahh Mondays...this is my office (half of it..) and this is actually TIDY compared to what it WILL look like in the next few days...so much paper...its downhill from here.