When is compromise...compromising?

Good evening my reader!

Its seriously been a while since I've blogged ANYTHING, but I've been a busy mamacita! Anyways, getting right into it, when does the art of compromise, become compromising?

I've been really thinking about this lately. When we begin new relationships, there is always a little give and take. No one is perfect, although both parties SEEM to be in the honeymoon stage, until BAM! 3-4 months in...you both reveal your true selves.  Now I'm not speaking from experience here (or maybe I am...you shall never know..) but after the 'glitz and glamour' of the new relationship fades away like Paris Hilton's singing career..things take an..interesting turn.

I call this little "turn-pike" GROWING PAINS. Anyone who has moved in with someone knows what I am talking about. Lovey and dovey it begins..both SO happy to be living with each other, wake-up together, cuddle while the sun is going down..frequent sexy-time (sorry ma'). Then all of a sudden BOOM! Huge explosive mess of each others personalities finally show! Imagine throwing 2 buckets of paint at a wall- that's the mess I am talking about. One reveals their love of down-time, relaxation, early bed-time during the week. And the other reveals their true love of staying out at all hours, noise-complaint inducing music, and partying like the rock-star they truly are!  Now, its NOT like either party "hide" these parts...they just kept them in a dark corner, like a caged animal ready to be freed from the chains.

So, you begin to compromise with each others lives. OK we relax a bit for you tonight, and I'll go out and party-hearty the next night..and maybe the next night..deal? OK! Meanwhile, the "relaxer" isn't necessarily happy with all these decisions. BUT at the same time, neither is the rock star (what the HELL is relaxation????!! she will say..or he..HA!) At this point, it can become compromising. Doing things JUST to appease the other person, making deals, bribes, promises you don't intend to keep...which in turn leaves someone unhappy and eventually leading to a life of resentment..possibly HATE.  I believe the art of compromise can become compromising, when your just doing everything to appease the other person. You should never say yes to someone, while saying no to yourself. Stand your ground, grow a set and let the other person know when they're ass is PUSHING it..

Every relationship is different. When you move on from a past one, into a new one, you can never expect it to be the same...you're not with the same person anymore, correct? Being a true Leo, I have a VERY hard-time compromising. I feel it should be MY way or NO way...but as the days go on, I am learning compromise is not a negative thing. Its letting both parties get a little of what each other wants, and allows you to both move on and come to a decision.  I can promise you (if you are going through these growing pains..) it gets better. you move past the 3-4 month itch, and things just get easier. You get into a better routine and finally start to relax a little...this goes for BOTH people. And trust me when I say, it helps to have those growing pains. You learn different things about each other, since after all, if things were PERFECT all the time..frankly, I'd be worried...as I am not a step-ford wife (FAR from).

Love, Laura
xoxox

Breathe..and reboot..

Good Evening my amazing reader!

I figured since its been a while since I posted something, I should get on it. I've been back and forth lately; toying with different blog ideas and have finally come up with one.  I took a trip back home today (for Easter with the fandamily..) and its truly amazing how a single trip back home can really ground you again...

Life is funny and strange sometimes and can throw a true bag of shit, warranted or not. In the last week, I've been thrown a LARGE bag of this natural compost! All details aside, it was amazing how this short day trip really brought my mind back down to earth and gave me a clear head. I'm not sure whether its the clean country air, or the fact that its so amazingly silent and you can actually HEAR your own thoughts, as opposed to fire trucks. 

It has been at least 10 years since I walked around that little town, and it was just the same as I left it. We took a walk to my old junior-high/high school and it was as if nothing had changed. It was a humbling experience and reminded me of the young, innocent girl I used to be. The girl with BIG dreams; who couldn't wait to get the HELL out of that place. Now sometimes, all I want is that life back..

Being back there truly made me remember the person I once was. In the words of Miranda Lambert "Out here, its like I'm someone else, I thought that maybe I could find myself..". Truer words have never been spoken...plus I love that song..ha! In conclusion my friend, sometimes it takes a step back in time to remember what you truly want out of this life and who you once were; don't let the harshness of a big city/different town take away that once, innocent, young smile with a head full of BIG dreams.

Love, Laura xoxo

February wrap-up/March to-do..

Hello you!

 

To Wrap up this YOGA FEBRUARY, I thought I’d let you know how it went! (PS: YES, I am aware that it is the 4^th of March…I am a tad behind, deal with it.)  Since January was a complete BUST, I was determined to make this one GREAT..And guess what? IT WAS!!!!  I bought an unlimited pass at “Still Point Yoga Studio” on Jasper and 112st, which (for NEW students) is ONLY $40!

 Seeing as my Yoga practice was short lived in the past and all I’ve ever really known was HOT yoga, this was a delightful change. The room is heated, but it’s more “toasty” than a typical “sweat-your-bag-off” class I used to take at Moksha Studio.  Yin Yoga has been BY FAR the best class. It’s SO relaxing and I love holding the GOOOOOOOD stretch for longer…and it truly is “moving mediation”. After every class you leave….happy. And stress-free…it's amazing.

 Ah well, just thought I’d get you up to speed on that AND inform you what MARCH will be (a 2-in-one blog..Believe it!!!!!). I have decided to deem this month as “Picture-a-day March”. So I will be instagraming like it’s going out of style. The pictures will range from a cute puppy I saw, to a random stranger I thought looked interesting…(and NO they won't be ALL of me...even though I know you LOVE seeing my beautiful face..)*creeper!*. I will be posting them to my Facebook and perhaps at the end of the month do a run-through in a month-end blog….we’ll see how much gusto I have by then….

 Here’s some from the first 4 days of March:

MARCH.1st
This is my "sad face"..I sent it to my man-friend via text to make him feel bad...for reasons I cannot explain haha.



MARCH 2nd
Lookin' fresh faced after a relaxing facial with my mumsie!!

MARCH 3RD
I came across this on Pineterest and it made me LOL for REAL!

MARCH 4TH
Ahh Mondays...this is my office (half of it..) and this is actually TIDY compared to what it WILL look like in the next few days...so much paper...its downhill from here.

 

Love is patient..Love is kind..

 

 

    So I’ve sitting around all day AKA working, wondering what to write about…and then it hit me like a ten pound cat-fish! Love…sweet magical, frustrating Love. As the famous Cher quoted “Love don’t need a reason..she can pick you up, or leave you bleeding”. Some of us search our whole life searching for that ONE great love. Some of us find love in other things…maybe your true love is your job, your new baby…your dog. Whatever it is, it’s worth EVERY frustrating, broken heart moment.

 

    Why do we fall in love SO easy, even when we know it’s not right?  Speaking from personal experience, my aspiration in life is to find and keep great love; I want to be THAT couple that people know they are in presence of GREAT love when around us. YES, I did spend a large chunk (7 years..) of my life with someone I always knew wasn’t exactly right for me. Some would ask, well why would you stay and waste your time? Well, I wouldn’t consider that a waste of time. I suppose you kind of get used to the idea of someone being in your life, and if it works and your happy-ish..why change? As someone who doesn’t like change and enjoys routine, that was right up my alley. We got along, he was my best friend and we had a comfortable life and I think we both just used to it. And sometimes it’s just easier to stay then to leave. Which is kind of sad when you REALLY think about it. Life is SO short, why the HELL do we stay and invest in something that doesn’t make us grow…and we’re just too damn lazy to just make a move….or are we afraid of being, dare I say, ALONE? 

 

    Sometimes, it takes us meeting that ‘great love” to realize, what exactly, we were missing in our life. That love that makes you question EVERY idea you ever had about life and love in general. And sometimes you have to STOP in your tracks and wonder if this person was created out of your dreams or perhaps someone REALLY is listening to your wishes? People come into your life for many reasons; some stay for a while, and some leave shortly after they’ve entered.  I often used to hear about people finding their “soul mates”, saying “you just know”..”you can feel it”. And I always used to wonder..HOW? HOW can you feel it?? What the HELL does “it” feel like??? But believe ME, when you know you’ve found the person you’re meant to walk this life with, there’s NO more questions..you just know.  I remember asking my mom-Faye when she knew my dad was “the one” and she said (without skipping a beat) “after our first date”….THAT is great love at its finest, and I finally understand.

 

    In conclusion my beautiful reader, I hope that whatever Love you have, it’s great..and NOTHING less than spectacular. That is ALL you deserve, as life is too short to put up with anything less than butterflies…

 

Love, Laura xoxo

February: Yoga Month!

"OOOOooommmmm"

Good day avid reader!

 First of all, please accept my apologies that this is coming to you a TAD late; seeing as its now February.8^th! But I figured I’d let you in on this month’s NEW resolution!  I have decided to peg February as “Yoga Month”! And I’m actually pretty excited for it. I start on Sunday and am happy to be getting back into it.  I am buying a monthly unlimited pass with a friend and we’ve already made out our schedule for the month…SO we have NO excuse!

 Since last month’s resolution was kind of a bust (OK a HUGE mess…), I am determined to make this one a WIN. I’m sure it will because I enjoy yoga and could really use the relaxation.  Anyways, that’s all for now..I will keep you posted on my progress as the time goes on J

 ove, Laura xoxox

January Resolution: Success or complete bust??

Good day!

 So I bet you’re sitting there..in anticipation, DYING to know how my “sober” January went. Well, first let me just say…in order to succeed, you must first fail. In short, sober January, wasn’t very sober. I lasted about 9 days and then peer pressure/random Thursday night shenanigans took control of me..and then the weekend preceded those actions. What can I say? I am a sucker for a goodtime??

 I will say, that Karma is horrible bitch goddess. I put out into the universe AKA Facebook, that I was going to sober up for 1 month and alas I did not. SO, my first weekend back into it, JUST as we were getting ready to get  a cab, I tripped over a friend and ended up spraining my foot..OUCH! But I am SUCH an all-star that I went out anyways and danced on it all night. Needless to say, the next day I did NOT feel like much of an all-star..in fact I didn’t feel much of anything; minus the BLINDING foot pain. So for about a week after that I limped around, swearing at myself for my drinking failure and lack of will-power (DAMN YOU good times!!). By the time the NEXT weekend rolled around, my sprain-pain had subsided but now I was in a whole NEW kind of pain..on the OTHER side of my foot. The pain was so excruciating, that I layed on the couch for 2 days barely able to move around, and the thought of drinking just irritated me, since THAT was the reason I was in this hot mess!  By Monday morning, I had HAD it! I figured it was pain related to my previous weekends injury, so I went to the doc’s to find out if I MAYBE broke something..or had jaundice of the toe…

 SO, turns out..I had Gout. Yea…GOUT! It was apparent at this moment, the universe was against me and telling me this was a sign to cut out the drinking…for now anyways. IF you don’t know much about gout (I’m a poet and I don’t even know it..HA), it can be brought on my alcohol and/or poor diet…BOTH of which I was going off, as partying leads to next morning grease…it just goes hand in hand. SO, all in all my judgmental reader, the first months resolution did not pan out as expected..at least I’ve have 2 sober weekends and I don’t drink during the week…except that random Thursday…!!! Just trying to think about the positive…Alas, I am off the sauce for LONG time, seriously this time…just TRY and stop me!!!

 

Have a glorious weekend!!

 

Love, Laura xoxox

Its called a break-up, because its broken..

"You won't be needing THIS!"

Good day!

 Giving into my light work-load these past few days, I’ve decided to do ANOTHER blog. Not about resolutions or an update on my “no drinking January” (although I’m doing well!), but instead about THE BIG BREAK-UP.  I haven’t talked openly about this; with the exception of telling some girlfriends, but it REALLY is called a Break-up because its exactly that…Broken.

 I’ve always had the same attitude of other peoples relations, being that no one else is in that relationship except those 2 people…NO ONE. No one REALLY knows what goes on behind closed doors with other couples. UNLESS you’re an open book…which, anyone who knows me, knows I am VERY private because frankly, my relationship is no one else’s business. For example, you have a friend who tells you something shitty her bf did; the next time you see said boyfriend, that’s ALL you think about! THUS the reason I don’t talk about my relationships.

 Now I’m not going to sit here and tell the whole storey about what happened between him and I, but I will let you know, I thought about it for over a year. My head was constantly filled with questions; “is he the one?” “am I SURE this is what I want”..”What if I do it and realize I made the biggest mistake of my life?”. That last question haunted me for a year, but like I always say, Life is short and sometimes you just have to take a chance.  And I went forth with my “chance taking” and ended up meeting someone unbelievably amazing and completely unexpected.

 Now, details aside, what I did was completely inexcusable and NO ONE deserves that. I can never take back what I did and I have to live with that every day.  I have to live with the fact that I literally ripped the heart out (and played basketball with for a bit..) of the person who loved me more than anything…and loved me more that I deserved.  Many people seem to think I am just a heartless bitch who could care less about what I did. The real reality of it: There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about it.  I know that will lessen with time, and as he moves on the better his life will become too, hopefully.  I am sincere in the fact that I hope he has an amazing life. We had a great relationship the past 7 years and I’ll always have those memories. He was also a great man-friend and anyone who knew him can attest to that…well being a great friend…not man-friend, lets clear that up ha-ha. He will be amazing for the right girl and he deserves someone incredible, truly.

 On the lighter side, I will finish off with this. I have never been so incredibly happy in my life. Everything kind of fell together as It should, and I have no regrets…NONE.  Quoted by Drake: “The best relationships, are the ones you never expect to be in..”.

 Love, Laura xoxox